THURSDAY THIRTEEN - Doctor Quotes

more participants here at New Thursday 13

13 Doctor Quotes

1.The patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.

2.The baby was delivered, the cord clamped and cut and handed to the paediatrician, who breathed and cried immediately.

3. The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of gas and crashed.

4. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.

5. The patient lives at home with his mother, father, and pet turtle, who is presently enrolled in day care three times a week.

6. Exam of genitalia was completely negative except for the right foot.

7. While in the emergency room, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.

8. The skin was moist and dry.

9. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.

10. Coming from London, this man has no children.

11. Patient was alert and unresponsive.

12. When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room.

13. Rectal exam revealed a normal size thyroid

Mr. Gattino has a surgery on his carotide this morning. For me the best help to handle stress is humour !

THURSDAY THIRTEEN

13 Funny Christmas Quotes

1. The one thing women don't want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is their husband."

2. Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered. What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.

3. Christmas at my house is always at least six or seven times more pleasant than anywhere else. We start drinking early. And while everyone else is seeing only one Santa Claus, we'll be seeing six or seven.

4. Santa Claus wears a Red Suit, He must be a communist. And a beard and long hair, must be a pacifist. What's in that pipe that he's smoking?

6. I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.

7. Let me see if I've got this Santa business straight. You say he wears a beard, has no discernible source of income and flies to cities all over the world under cover of darkness? You sure this guy isn't laundering illegal drug money

8. Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people once a year

9. How do you know Santa has to be a man?
No woman is going to wear the same outfit year after year..

10.The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.

11. What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.

12. Anyone who believes that men are the equal of women has never seen a man trying to wrap a Christmas present

13. From a commercial point of view, if Christmas did not exist it would be necessary to invent it.






I have got these 16 awards from my blogfriend Sanni at Coffee 2 go and thank her very much. I framed them together otherwise I would have to have opened a new blog !











and I feel that I should honor her with this award !


For Sanni !

THURSDAY THIRTEEN

Today is "All Saints Day" which is a day off in most of the European countries. Belgium is 100 % catholic and on this day people are going to the cimetary to remember the death.

13 things about automn

1. Days get shorter

2. Leaves get a dirty yellow

3. Trees start their striptease

4. It is getting cold, humid and foggy

5. I can't sit outside anymore

6. I have to wear warm clothes

7. I have to put the heating on

8. I can't chat with my neighbor anymore over the fence

9. I (no ! the husband has) have to put the garden furniture away

10. I have to clean the grass, entrance and sidewalk from leaves

11. My cats also prefer to sleep inside, they don't like automn either

12. When I look outside I get depressed

13. I would love to skip this season

And that's why I go on holidays ! At least it is sunny in Egypt and over 30°C (82F) !




The arrow shows you Hourghada, that's where I will go tomorrow afternoon !

THURSDAY THIRTEEN

Today is Mrs. Lifecruiser's birthday go over and wish her all the best !

created for me by Cindi !

If you run out of ideas for TT write about yourself !

1. I have the age which is written in my passport. But ! and a but there is, everybody tells me that I haven't changed at least inside (the shell is another story) and that I am still as "crazy" as in my teenage years.

2. My family situation is very simple, I am married with the same Italian since 38 years. We have one little son of 34 who is 2 m (6.6 ft) long and doesn't need a ladder, which was very useful when he lived with us.

3. My passport also says that I am german but I live since ages here in Belgium could have the Belgian nationality but don't see why, as the laws are for everybody the same, so I decided to be an European.

4. When our family is together, we have 3 1/2 countries united around the table : Italy, Germany, Holland and a mixture (my son is German and Italian, with his length he needs to have two nationalities) The dutch is his girlfriend.

5. There are no language problems, Mr. Gattino and I speak german together, with my son french and when his girl friend is there, we all speak english or everything together or everybody speaks what he wants for himself. No language problems in this family !

6. 5 cats are living in our household. Very important and not to forget. There too is no language problem, as three of them are Belgians one meauwing in dutch, and the two others in french. The rest meows in english as they are both from London. When we are all together we represent the future United Europe !

7. As it's already said in my profile I like to paint and am a leisure painter. Once a week I am in a painting group, where we paint, learn, and mostly laugh.

8. Since about one and a half year I discovered that I like to take photos too. With a digital camera it became so easy.

9. My life's motto is, getting fun out of everything and even problems. With humor everthing is easier to take.

10. I like to go out, visit expositions and to travel and try to see the most of the world before I disappear in a coffin.

11. From time to time I go to Amsterdam where my son lives now and like to go around and visit expositions or just sitting in the bus boats and look at the beautiful buildings surrounding the canals.

12. I have a few very good friends, one even since I was 7 years (!) and a lot of others to go out with.

13. Of course I am convinced that I have a very good temper, although some other people pretend I haven't, especially the man I live with.

I have got this wonderful award some time ago from Linda and Emmyrose and thank them very much. The same award I saw on Mar's blog and I thought I would create one for her personally :



Here are two versions. But of course feel free to help yourself for your own blog !

THURSDAY THIRTEEN

13 Things about northern Italy

1. If you like the George Clooney style come to Italy. You can find him in all editions. From small to tall, from 18 till 80, (then with white hair) S M L (XL not available) just as you like. You also have the choice between brown, blue or green eyes.

2. Italian girls are pretty in general, of course there are exceptions. Here too you have the choice between dyed blond or brown hairs in all shades same eyes as above

3. Old ladies are usually very white haired from light blue over silver to light violet. Usually very elegant on countrysides only sundays. The majority is very slim the other part fat big.

4. They haven't changed a lot since I saw them 20 years ago which means that they looked older when they were 20 years younger. They said the same of me, which I didn't take for a compliment for the above mentionned reason.

5. Men who used to pinch female bottoms have now to ask "May I" otherwise the woman is now allowed to prosecute them for "sexual harrassement" .

6. Italian men's look can be very "strip teasing" but there is nothing to do against it, there is no proof. They just have to close their eyes.

7. Italian men's tourist hunting is still very commun, no complaints from female tourists on that

8. Men I knew from age 25 who were terrible tourist hunters, boozers, big mouthes and machos are now brave family fathers doing everything what "La Mamma" says and have made their grandchildren to their hobbies.

9. Women who once had to worry about their husbands, for the above mentionned reasons, have become "La Mamma" once she became mother and is now family leader. Even in "The Godfather" family.

10. It is still use once families get together that women are in one part of the room, men on the other discussing different things, only at the arriving and when they go the two sexes have discussions together.

11. The famous southern hospitality hasn't changed a bit. You can arrive at whatever hour without "warning" and you are received as if you were the most important person in the whole world.

12. Italy is not a cheap country anymore. Since the introduction of the Euro, prices are almost the same as in northern countries

13. The beauty of landscapes or historical sites haven't changed a bit. But there are now a lot of rules and laws to be respected. If you break them fines are very expensive. People are a lot less free.

THURSDAY THIRTEEN

13 rather awkward things which happened to me


1. I pulled a chair towards me and did'nt notice that our mayor just intended to sit down. He fell on the floor. Since then he always recognizes me in the street.

2. On a ball organized by the city I drank Sangria then dansed a waltz with a personality, got dizzy pulled him down we fell and two other couples with us. But I am still invited for a dance, but don't drink Sangria anymore.

3. Mr. Gattino woke up in the middle of the night, he had dreamed he was on a beach and listened to the waves, but it was his wife standing in the middle of the bedroom throwing up.

4. He stood up and ran to his friend to ask for a bucket the friend woke up and threw up too. We had discussed about the pope for a few hours with a lot of some wine.

5. I went to my office one morning and hadn't noticed that I was still wearing my slippers and no shoes.

6. I couldn't find my slippers and looked in the whole house, Mr. Gattino found them in the fridge when he looked for something to eat.

7. I went to the restroom and returned with my skirt tucked in my slip and crossed the whole restaurant without noticing it. But the other guests did.

8. I told a lady that her father would wait outside, unfortunately it was her husband !

9. I went in a pub and ordered a pint of spider instead of cider.

10. I opened the door withouth my glasses and took our neighbor for a Jehova Witness. He was very pleased.

11. I alerted a whole army in a shopping center because my car was stolen before I realized that I had taken Mr. Gattino's car and not mine.

12. I opened the assistant Manager's door after knocking, and found her with a man making love on her desk. I closed the door quickly.

13. In a museum I asked a man for the restrooms but it was a wax figure.

Did you realize that today it is really Thursday thirteen ?

THURSDAY THIRTEEN

13 Things about smoking

1. Three children out of ten are smoking the others are so boozed they couldn't find their cigarettes

2. Smoking is very bad and it's frightening that 13 year old girls smoke but at least they don't smoke during pregnancy !

3. Smoking starts earlier and earlier. Babies used to have baby phones in their rooms and today they have fire alarms

4. personally I have nothing against people who smoke only when they exhale

5. Smoking is bad for teeth. Therefore I take them out before I light a cigarette

6. Smoking is dangerous for your health, because the non smoker besides you could stab you

7. Some people didn't die of smoking they went to the doctor to be killed

8. Don´t drink and drive! Smoke a joint and fly home!

10. smoking weed makes you uncaring, why ? You don't care

11. Half of the population dies because they smoke, but the other half dies too.

12. Beer makes fat, whisky sick, I have nothing I only smoke

13. It is allowed to kill animals and eat them. But it is not allowed to pick plants and smoke them.

Luciano Pavarotti has died this night in his home in Modena (Italy). He had cancer. I very much loved his voice !

THURSDAY THIRTEEN

30 years ago Elvis died



13 Things about Graceland

1. I visited Graceland 1992

2. I was very disappointed when I saw the house. Instead of a big mansion as it looks like on pictures, it was only a normal house with 4 colons added, I found it rather small

3. We had to quew up and take a bus to Graceland not more then 10 people at the same time

4. Inside it seemed to me to be in a red plush atmosphere. There was a living room dominated by red velvet, and a rather small kitchen.

5. The stairs leading to the bedrooms were blocked. In a room costumes of Elvis and the wedding dress of Priscilla were exposed

6. I found him very short according to the suits he mustn't have been bigger then me.

7. Downstairs in the basement there it became really big.

8. There was a shooting gallery where he excersised, a huge TV room with about 10 TVs and a seat all around the wall. Apparently he loved to watch several programs at one time and when he didn't like it, he just shot in the TV.


9. In the garden was his grave where still people (mostly women) were moarning. Besides were the graves of father, and mother.

10. Nearby was his private airplane. Inside it looked furnished like a comfy appartment and in the bedroom was a huge double bed with a safety belt. That impressed me the most !

11. There also was his Bus with which he went on tour. Very comfy too

12. In front of the house stood the pink Cadillac the first car he had offered to his mum.

13. After the tour we found ourselves amongst a lot of souvenir shops. From boutons till plates you could find everything. I bought a little Graceland in plaster

Although I had never been a real Elvis fan I loved his voice and songs and he is part of my youth..

13 THINGS ABOUT TURKEY

Pookıe waıts for my return wıth her turkısh collar

As you probably know İ am here ın Turkey and try to wrıte on an englısh/turkish kewyboard. Blogger too ıs all ın turkısh and İ can only guess what to do !

Here are 13 thıngs İ like about Turkey :

1. The land ıs beautiful and has an unbelıevable varıety of landscapes

2. People are extremely friendly and most of them speak good or at least lıttle engliısh

3. İt ıs a very hıstorıcal place

4. There are many roman and greek ruıns wıtnessıng of a glorıous past. They are mostly datıng before J.C.

5. The troyan horse ıs here too, a quıte impressive reproduction.

6. From moonlike landscapes, red rocky, and soft green mountains everthıng ıs represented.

7. The roads are all very good

8. Turkısh drıvers are for suıcıders, they all suffer from color blındness and red lights are always green. Whıle drıvıng they have their hand on the horn and the whole traffic is very noisy !

9. When crossıng a street, better ıncrease your life insurance, walking people have no rights

10. Istambul ıs one of the most beautıfullest cıtıes I have ever seen, ı.e. London, Amsterdam, New York or Los Angeles.

11. İt ıs a meltıng pot of dıfferent cultures, muslims, chrıstians and jews are livıng here side by side wıthout any problems.

12. The cıty seems to be quite clean, there are many parcs, old sultan palaces and a lot of historical places.

13. I haven't seen any beggar or homless' ıf they ask for money they always present somethıng to buy such as a tıssu e.g..