22 Jun 2022


With the approvement or recomendation all people who love or like me a bit, told me that I absolutely have to go away and not stay home to try to finish one chapter of my life and start a new one as a widow. When I had to say this sentence for the first time "I am a widow" I got a shock and told myself I will never say that to anybody in the hotel. It hurt too much. 

It's so strange, I am so used to travel alone since 2009 when Rick and I went to Italy to visit the family, but now that he is not there anymore, my grief is even worse. I miss the phone calls in the evening and also the fact that he doesn't pick me up that I will find an empty apartment although he had shared it with me only for 6 month.

The airport was a nightmare, I had to be 4 hours in advance, but there were so many people at the assistance and only one employee who had to do the paperwork. Instead of taking us with a little electric vehicule, they used wheelchairs and of course there were not enough personal ! In short the plane left 20 min late and I arrived  half dead and as soon as I was in my room I had to cry and wanted to fly back. 

After breakfast the next morning I had a look around the hotel and indeed it is very beautiful. I have an enormous room, with view on the sea. The food is delicious but I am not hungry. Here is no lack of vegetables and fruits it's all there in abondance. There is more than enough personal and everybody seems to be content. Fortunately I left Europe and am in another world,

Everything what I wanted was there and even more a real Wellness as a part of the hotel. There is a swimming pool with seawater and 5 whirlpools in the corners, a part of the big pool with waves, and it's half inside half outside. The water very warm and there are not many people so far as the high season only started today. The majority of the guests are French. I also had my first massage but the girl said that it takes a few sessions I am too tense. I hope all this will at least restablish my physical condition.

This is the hotel with the outside and inside swimming pool and in the middle a part of the seawater swimming pool with the whirlpools. The ocean is blue and turquoise and it's nice and warm. There is also a lot of wind so that you don't feel the heat that much.
After a day with physical activities at 8 pm I fall in my bed. But unfortunately not to sleep but my thoughts are wandering in the past and I stated again what a wonderful life we had together, even if from time to time I wanted to kill him or the other way around.  At least it was not a boring marriage, full of surprises and humor. Half of me is gone now, but it is better that it was him first we needed each other too much and I  as a woman can probably take more then a man. Even in the last days when he could hardly speak he told me "I love you" which he had hardly never done there was no reason we just knew it. I held his ice cold hand 5 h before he passed away, no way to warm it up a bit. 

Tomorrow I continue my wellness treatment and even if I don't come out "new" there is still a possibility of "second hand".

I sent you greetings from Tunisia and a big thank you for your understanding. I return in a week if there are no strikes at the airport. Then I will try to blog again like before. I am missing writing, but my head is empty.