WEEKEND FUNNIES - Euro English

With Gattina & Shakira.

Just do a funny post, something which makes us laugh that's the most important.

And of course there also is


here at Me & My Memes

To explain the text underneath you have to know that in my family we are real Europeans probably one of the first families.

I am German because my passport says so, but I live in Belgium since 51 years and am Belgian by choice. Mr. G. is Italian also according to his passport, but he too lives since over 40 years in Belgium but is still Italian. Our son has both nationalities. He is German because of his mother and Italian because of his father. However he choose to be German for practical purposes, as he travels often, Germans have the reputation to be honnest and correct but behind every Italian is a hidden Mafia member.

My DIL is dutch. Now to the languages : Mr. G. and I speak German together, with our son we speak french. When our DIL is with us we all speak English, because the young couple speaks English together, as she doesn't speak French and he doesn't speak Dutch. Now to the little Grandson who will arrive in November. He will be German and Dutch, speaking French and dutch, but no German and no Italian as he should according to his fathers passports.

That's why I think this is the ideal solution for all Europeans :

"The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of negotiations, her Majesty Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short).

In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c". Sertainly, sivil servants will reseive this news with joy. Also, the hard "c" will be replased with "k". Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replased by "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20 per sent shorter.

In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters, which have always been a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent "e"s in the languag is disgraful, and they would go.

By the forth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" by "z" and "w" by "v". During ze fifz year ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

After zis fifz year, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trobls or difikultis and evrivum vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer. Ze drem vil finali kum tru !"

YESSSSS !

FRIDAY's FAVE FIVE

more participants at Susanne at Living to tell the Story.

1. On Monday I met my new Aqua Gym group and it was very nice ! We had a lot of fun, we were only 5, and I had a lot of room for swimming between the exercises After working the lower part of the body we get a massage with a cold water jet (shiver) and then after working the upper part another massage but in the water. I love to swim, although I don't like water in my face !

2. After the sunny weekend it had started to rain again, which made me stay inside, I just went to my favorite book shop, which only sells used books and this in all languages ! I bought 3, one in German, one in French and one in English. Now I have enough to read ! I love to read in my bed before I switch off the light.

3.



Mr. G. had bought two big bags of bark to put in our garden. I put them along the entrance. Underneath I had put a plastic so that weeds can't grow. It's very easy to entertain. As usual Arthur is my model to present things, he is also the one who digs there and spreads the bark all over !

4. Rain is not only unpleasant but it is also dangerous for your wallet ! To get out of the house I went to the "Carrefour" store, there was a big sale going on, because the store will be closed. We actually have two Carrefours in Waterloo, and apparently the management thought it was too much. As there was 30 to 50 % on all prices I couldn't resist to buy some baby stuff for little grandson to come. It's not my fault it is the fault of the rain ! When the sun is shining I don't go in shops !!



A little play mat in form of a cute hippo



and some indispensable things, like a little lamb and kitty to cuddle and stars to put over the bed.

5. The best thing I did this week was visiting the exposition of one of the most famous cartoonists in Belgium "Kroll" ! He is absolutely great especially when it comes to the more then complicated politics in this little country.



The Waterloo exposition building from outside



and inside.

I took some pictures of his cartoons. Of course most of them concerned the Belgian politicians and the King who plays the role of an arbiter. But I selected a few just to show you what he does and translated the text for you.















I think it was the first exposition in my whole life where all people were laughing like mad !

THURSDAY THIRTEEN

more participants here

13 Things you should do in an elevetor (and you will be sure to have some fun)

1. Make race car noises when people get on and off.

2. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your Kleenex to other passengers.

3. Grimace painfully while slapping your forehead and muttering, "Shut up dammit, all of you just SHUT UP!"

4. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.

5. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.

6. Do Tai Chi exercises.

7. Meow occasionally.

8. Bet the other passengers you can fit a Euro in your nose.

9. Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.

10. Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them.

11. Say, "Ding!" at each floor.

12. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.

13. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

WORDLESS WEDNESDAY

more participants here

MY WORLD

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WHAT DID YOU DO THIS WEEKEND ?

Helps you to remember what you have done on the weekend of September 4, 2010. You never know if you need an alibi ! If you participate please leave your link.

On Saturday, sunshine and 19 °C were announced ! I thought that is a nice opportunity to take the train to Brussels North and walk from there to the most busiest shopping street called "Rue Neuve" and have a little look around the North station where I hadn't been for ages.



I didn't recognize anything besides the old North Station building (on the picture) and the Rue Neuve, and a few old houses, but they had disappeared in the wood of glass boxes which house insurance companies and banks (of course) What an ugly part of Brussels ! Although they had tried to make it nice.

30 years ago I had to take the train every day because my office was located behind the North station and every morning I had to go through the red light zone, where the girls were sitting in their windows and knitted and when I saw the knitting needles and the wool laying on the chair, I knew that they were "working". After a while I knew them all and we greated each other every morning. But apparently they too had been moved and are now a little farer from the station. Poor insurance and bank male employees.

On Sunday a miracle happened ! Warm weather and sunshine was announced and Ilona and I decided to jump in my car and hurry to the sea to enjoy maybe the last summer day of this year.

We had taken our seats along and a pic nic and the first thing I did when we had settled down, I dropped my noodle salad in the sand ! I tried to save a little bit with my fork, but soon it was full of sand and impossible to eat. Fortunately Ilona had enough salad for the two of us ! I had to burry my salad, but I didn't put any decoration on the grave.



Doesn't it look like summer ?



People were feeding seagulls and we watched and we laughed about the dog who was digging like mad and threw the sand all around as you can see. Fortunately it wasn't the place where I had burried my noodles, otherwise they also would have flown around !

When we had enough from the sun we walked along the beach until we found a café where we had a wonderful Brussels waffel with fruits and whipped cream and a coffee ! It was so good, that I forgot to take a picture !

SUMMER (?) STOCK SUNDAY

more participants here at Robin's Around the Island

I just did a study about summer ! Because I am sitting here with the heating on and outside it's grey and cold. Officially it should be the warmest season of the year, between spring and autumn. In the Northern Hemisphere, where I live it is usually defined as the period between the summer solstice (year’s longest day), June 21 or 22, and the autumnal equinox (day and night equal in length), September 22 or 23.

I don't know who invented this, but anyway it is not true in practical life and this since years !
But as I have to adapt to the clima, official summer or not, instead of wearing shorts and T-shirts I am hanging around in a thick sweater and jeans and instead of sandals I wear warm slippers.

Instead of laying in my garden and enjoy the warm sunshine of end summer with a good book, or "working" at my computer on the terrace, I sit inside and enjoy the heating and watch crime stories on TV. My favorite series is "Midsummer murders" with Inspector Barnaby. Midsummer is a place in England where in each film at least 4 people are murdered in average. I wonder if there are still inhabitants. At least the place has the word "summer" in it.

Another series I love to watch is "Morse" who loves classical music to solve crimes which puts me in a funeral mood. He drinks a lot, but that's understandable, because in Oxford it rains a lot too.

Although "Global warming" has been changed into "Climate changes" and won't warm me up anymore, I still have hope that summer comes back, maybe on Christmas, because it wouldn't be the first time that we had temperatures around 15°C (59F) or even more just like now in summer.



I certainly can say that for next week !