11 Sep 2010

WEEKEND FUNNIES - Euro English


With Gattina & Shakira.

Just do a funny post, something which makes us laugh that's the most important.

And of course there also is


here at Me & My Memes

To explain the text underneath you have to know that in my family we are real Europeans probably one of the first families.

I am German because my passport says so, but I live in Belgium since 51 years and am Belgian by choice. Mr. G. is Italian also according to his passport, but he too lives since over 40 years in Belgium but is still Italian. Our son has both nationalities. He is German because of his mother and Italian because of his father. However he choose to be German for practical purposes, as he travels often, Germans have the reputation to be honnest and correct but behind every Italian is a hidden Mafia member.

My DIL is dutch. Now to the languages : Mr. G. and I speak German together, with our son we speak french. When our DIL is with us we all speak English, because the young couple speaks English together, as she doesn't speak French and he doesn't speak Dutch. Now to the little Grandson who will arrive in November. He will be German and Dutch, speaking French and dutch, but no German and no Italian as he should according to his fathers passports.

That's why I think this is the ideal solution for all Europeans :

"The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of negotiations, her Majesty Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short).


In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c". Sertainly, sivil servants will reseive this news with joy. Also, the hard "c" will be replased with "k". Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter.


There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replased by "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20 per sent shorter.


In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters, which have always been a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent "e"s in the languag is disgraful, and they would go.


By the forth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" by "z" and "w" by "v". During ze fifz year ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.


After zis fifz year, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trobls or difikultis and evrivum vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer. Ze drem vil finali kum tru !"


YESSSSS !

15 comments:

Thom said...

ROFLMAO!!! And I thought we had trouble with language over here. LOL This is just too funny. May all your dreams come true my friend :) You just slay me.

Thom said...

Okay I give up. I can't find the link The linkwithin takes me to their site. And all I can get is the widget. So mine is HERE.

quilly said...

ROTFLMAO, too! That was a riot to read. Thank you for lighting up my night with a hearty belly laugh. I have to show this to Amoeba.

Auto Insurance For Blonds

HOOTIN' ANNI said...

I've read this before...it's a hoot!!!! I can't shorten hoot, 'cause then it'd be HOT...

Here's my weekend cartoon.

EastCoastLife said...

Congrats to you and Mr G, both of you are going to be grandparents!!

I still have another 5 years to wait until I become a grandma.... hopefully. :D

EastCoastLife said...

So Mr G has Mafia blood in him!? That's why you are so fearless? hahaha.....

Jo said...

Oh I agree, Gattina, I guffawed at your new Euro language. And what a cosmopolitan family you have.That little Grandson will sure be a linguist. You can teach him German,his Granddad can teach him Italian, your son will speak French to him and his own mummy will speak Dutch to him. In between he'll speak English. When does the little one arrive? Have a wonderful weekend, my friend. (((Hugs))) Jo

Jo said...

Oh I agree, Gattina, I guffawed at your new Euro language. And what a cosmopolitan family you have.That little Grandson will sure be a linguist. You can teach him German,his Granddad can teach him Italian, your son will speak French to him and his own mummy will speak Dutch to him. In between he'll speak English. When does the little one arrive? Have a wonderful weekend, my friend. (((Hugs))) Jo

Maribeth said...

I think it is wonderful that your grandson will be multi-lingual!

Nessa said...

This makes perfect sense to me as I grew up with my mother speaking Euro English and have no problem understanding it.

Penguin Five said...

Haha! Funny! Although there is really something like EuroEnglish here in Brussels. Drives my UK boss crazy! :)

A Lady's Life said...

lol
this was funny
lol

jabblog said...

It's a long time since I first saw this and it still makes me smile :-)
Not long to wait now for your little grandson. Has he already got a name?

corfubob said...

Thank good i am english and can spell prettty good with spelcheck switched on.

Seriously, I think what will happen is that:
1. Europeans will carry on spelling English as well as they can, and be understood most of the time like now.

2. Americans will carry on deciding what English actually IS and will will all follow as well as we can.

3. Then Europe and America will Adopt Arabic as the first language in order to survive.

4. Cats will continue to survive without language.

Vlado&Toni said...

Funny ;) I think i got this one time from a friend as well ;) but you are truly an example of a European family :) maybe who knows one day? there will be such a citizenship as such just - European ;)