WEEKEND FUNNIES

With Gattina & Shakira.

Just do a funny post, something which makes us laugh that's the most important.

And of course there also is


here at Me & My Memes

To pee or not to pee ?

On wednesday I went with my friend Ilona to the Belgian coast. Of course after a little more than one hour driving, first thing we did when we arrived was looking for a loo.
We couldn't go behind a bush on the street, because we are not equipped with the outhanging accessories for this purpose.

Finally we found a loo on the beach which looked like a camping car. In front of the door sat a woman and knitted. As soon as she saw us coming she stood up and wanted 50 cents ! In £ that would be 50 pee to pee ! We were surprised. I asked her if she had a senior fee for people over 65, but of course she hadn't. Reluctantly we both gave her 50 cents which made 1 € to do a wee wee ! For 1.50 € you get a coffee and free pee ! (Imagine you have 5 daughters !)

We were discussing this abuse in an urgent natural emergency situation, and then we started to calculate :

An average of 100 leg twisting women in loo need x 0.50 € makes 350 € per week, 1400 €/month or 16.800 € (21.323 $)/ year, for sitting around and knitting and from time to time put a new roll of toilet paper ? Of course I wouldn't clean, for that I would hire somebody ...



With a view like this on future clients, I sincerly consider to buy knitting needles and wool !

SMILEY SATURDAY - CHOUCHOU

Each year when our neighbours are going on holidays, Mr. Gattino feeds the cat named Chouchou. (pronounce shoe shoe). This means darling, sweetheart, etc. in short a nickname normally used for a husband, wife or children. Everybody can be Chou or Chou chou even a cat.

A friend of ours calls every house member Chou. His wife, his son his granddaughter and even the dog. I am sure if a mouse would move in he would name it Chou too. So it well could be possible that when he calls "Chou" that his wife, son, granddaughter and dog all appear on the doormat at the same time. After he became widow, three weeks later he had another female "chou". I have to admit that this man has a strong lack of imagination.

Now every morning and every evening Mr. Gattino crosses the street and calls "Chouchou". To his big surprise last time a window was opened at the other's neighbour's house and a female voice said "Yes, I am here !" It was our neighbor's daughter. The real Chouchou appeared too of course.



Chou chou

SMILEY SATURDAY - Strange boats

Lightening our usual host is on vacation and takes a break from Smiley Saturday. That's why I proposed to those who like to do this meme to meet here on my blog.

Last week when we were still in Italy at the Garda lake, I woke up in the middle of the night because light was on in the whole appartment and I saw my husband standing there looking around a little lost and helpless. Before I could ask what happened, I saw my slipper swimming around the corner together with the toilet brush followed by other little boats which were our shoes.

I watched them swimming like a child would do with little boats or ducks on the water, and was a little startled that they swam in our room. I hadn't realized what had happened. Suddenly I heard terrible thunder followed by lightenings (not our usual host) of a power I had never seen or heard in my life.

I jumped out of my bed into about 20 cm (8 inch) high water, which bubbled out like a fountain from the shower and the toilet. Fortunately the water was clear and clean, I feared the worst, concerning the toilet. Our appartment, although it was on the first floor was completely under water. Fortunately we didn't have anything (besides the shoes) on the floor.

Short after midnight a lady from the Agency arrived to clean up this mess, apparently the whole little town had been flooded, and the canalisation gave up its spirit.


here were my shoes swimming around like little boats


The sky late afternoon

MADAME GPS AND SHORTCUTS

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Being at the Garda Lake in Italy, which is not that far from Venice (+- 200 km, 124 miles) we decided to go there on Wednesday. Everything went smooth, we had a wonderful day and walked through Venice. But about Venice I will write a special post.

When we left the park house, my son put the adress of the main street of Rovereto, where our friend lives into Madame GPS. As his GPS has a female voice, (mine too) we call it Madame GPS.

Madame GPS directed us to the highway we had already taken, but then suddenly she told us to turn right, which we did and suddenly we were on another highway with of course no way to turn.

Ileana my Italian friend, got nervous : We are wrong, we are wrong ! she claimed, "turn around" ! Suddenly the highway ended and after having payed we found ourselves on a national street (that's how they call streets which are not highways) Madame GPS told us to go ahead for X km. We did. Then we had to turn left or right I don't remember, my son drove, my friend got more and more excited, she thought we were lost. She wasn't used to a GPS.

The street led us higher and higher into the mountains, from 30°C we suddenly found ourselves at 9 or 10° and had to put the heating on. No car was around we were completely alone on this street which looked like a rolled up snake on Madame GPS' screen. At some time the turns were so narrow that we could only see a mass, it really was a mess. Deep gores and rocks on the left and right side of the narrow street. Suddenly we were more then 2000 m (6562 ft) high ! and besides one mountain shelter, we didn't even see a cow. But we saw snow ! a big block of snow.

Poor Ileana saw herself already dying in the mountains of a terrible death and being in the newspapers the next day "Tourists lost in the Little Dolomites " that's were we were !

But after the 14th turn, the street went down and down and then we saw houses and cows and we all laughed and laughed (except Ileana who still was under shock) and bravely Madame GPS conducted us to Corso Rosmini the street my son had asked for, only instead of directing us there through the highway, she gently took us over the Dolomites directly into this street. Just like we had asked for !

I had never been in the Dolomites, it was a wonderful sightseeing !



Snow block we saw



This picture is not from me, it's just to show you the kind of streets we had to drive through.

******

Michael Jackson
was a great artist. I saw him life together with my son in 1988 in Brussels.
I am really sad that he died so young.

SMILEY SATURDAY - A misunderstanding

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During our roundtrip through the south of Morocco, we spent each night in an other hotel. Where I live there is no noice at all so I am very sensitive to the lightest sound even if it would be a caughing fly. That's why I always take ear plugs with me and sleep like an angel.

Unfortunately that didn't happen to Arlette one of our group members. One morning she appeared very tired at the breakfast table and complained about the Muezzin, the caller for prayers who had woken her up at 4 am. Usually the Muezzin calls 5 times per day and in the past it was a real man who climbed up the tower and shouted in a loudspeaker.

Today old scratched records are used or maybe in modern cities CDs. Of course Arlette had no intention to pray to whatever god in the world at four in the morning, turned around and was half asleep when a rooster started to crow with energy, not for prayers but just to tell people it was time to get up.



a mosque without Muzzim


and as it was years ago



Behind me is our guide and besides with the glasses Madame Le Coq (Mrs. Rooster)

Just when she was complaining about the rooster and what a fuss he had made, another woman from our group arrived and looked surprised when she heard about the rooster's behaviour. Then she said "But I didn't make any noise I slept ! I just got up" ! We all looked a little dazzled and didn't understand what she meant when she said : "I am Madame Le Coq and really I didn't make any noise !" We all bursted out in laughter because Madam Le Coq means Mrs Rooster and she just had thought we were complaining about her !

MY LOVE STORY WITH CAMELS

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I knew that cats usually love me, but I ignored that camels love me too. The first experience I had on our way to Ouarzazate, in the very south of Morocco. Near the restaurant we had stopped for lunch were camels. The guide proposed that someone should give a bottle of water to the camel. While the others were still thinking if the camel would spit and bite, I took the bottle and gave it to the camel.







See, it looked very happy ! To thank me he then throw the bottle away and tried to eat my cap !
I just could run away leaving my cap, which I picked up later (slighly damaged). Apparently the camel didn't want to keep a souvenir of me. I am deeply disappointed.

My second experience I made with the camel which took me through the Sahara to watch a romantic sunset.


Here you see the heads of my Berber and my Camel. Proudly I sat enthroned on my camel and tried to take a picture of his long eyelashes. But it didn't work. It was like sitting in a shaking boat.



When we stopped and I was sitting besides him because the group was dispersed a little all over the place to watch the sunset, he suddenly pulled his tongue out and made a funny noise.



Then he rolled to the side and on his back



rolling from one side to the other



I quickly had taken out my camera to immortalize this event. I was only a very little scared that he would fall on me but no, nothing happened. I am still alive and not reduced to a pancake.



Then he layed down happily and a man of my group took this picture.

SMILEY SATURDAY - Help ! The snails are coming !

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When I looked at my freshly planted petunias, I was surprised that they looked rather skinny especially in the flower pots along the entrance.

At a closer look I saw SNAILS ! Never ever in the 33 years we live in this house I had a snail invation ! And not the naked once, no of course in my garden they had to move in with house, furniture and probably children ! I absolutely have to write a letter to Al Gore and ask for explanation ! Is it the global warming or are these space snails under cover ? Anyway I had to do something before they ate up the whole house and us included !




I declared "WAR " ! and put this snail killing product everywhere !




my skinny petunias attacked by 6 snails, the blue grains are poison (for snails only)

The result this morning was, that I collected around 30 empty snail houses, the corpses probably had melt with the product or went back in their space shuttle. How disgusting ! I am now a snail mass murderer, I, a such peaceful person ! But peace and love with snails doesn't work !



Even our letter box was invaded, and they had eaten up an invoice, which in itself was a nice gesture, but we probably will get a reminder !



and here is my harvest from this morning !

WALKING A STAR

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Yanouk

On thursdays I pick up Yanouk for a long walk. His mom is babysitting her grandson. When I open the door and put on his leash, he takes it in his mouth and leads me to the sidewalk. There he decides in which direction we would go. As I have no other plans I just let him walk me. At the beginning I look like somebody being on invisible water skies, pulled by a dog instead of a boat. He takes me from tree to tree from wall to wall from corners to corners. It is amazing how many things there are to sniff at and to water too !

Years ago men looked after me because I was quite a pretty girl. Today they look after Yanouk, because he is the beauty now. People I have never seen great me because they haven't realized that I am a different person as Yanouk's attendant. He is the king of the road. Little dogs bark their soul out of their bodies behind safe fences, Yanouk doesn't care, he doesn't even look.

While following him I am amazed how many plants, trees, corners etc he can water and he is still not empty. He always safes the last drop for just before his home. Sometimes we don't agree about our way. Especially when he feels that it would be the way back. Then he sits and looks at me, his eyes saying : try to pull my 60 kg (132 lbs) ! Of course I try, I am almost with my bottom on the sidewalk and pull and pull and he sits there and admires my gymnastic, until I remind myself that I am the boss and tell him that now, we really have to go.

Each time he sees a hedge he pulls me over there to scratch his back, he loves it and if he would be a cat he would purr. Then with his hind legs he scratches and throws the gravel or ground all around. I have to pay attention not to get it in my face.

When I bring him home, first thing is he drinks loudly a whole bowl of water and then collapses somewhere on the floor. He is exhausted and I too !



Should'nt have taken the last picture, it is not very decent !

SMILEY SATURDAY - My neighbours

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When I got home yesterday I saw a new dwarf scenery in my neighbours garden. I am not at all a fan of garden dwarfs, but this decoration always makes me smile because it is done by my neighbour's 14 years old boy. For Halloween he had posed them with pumpkins and faking a funeral, for Easter there were Easter bunnies with the dwarfs and now they are lined up and watch over the entrance, or sit on the fountain.

When I hear around me what usually 14 year old boys do or not do, it warms my heart and makes me smile. Now don't think he is an angel, he is a very normal and very friendly 14 year old boy.





While I was taking these pictures, Yanouk saw me and ran quickly with the elegance of an old grizzly bear to the gate to great me !







and was disappointed that I didn't take him for a walk !

SMILEY SATURDAY -

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I have been sitting peacefully behind my computer it was early morning and I was busy reading some posts when suddenly the silence was interrupted by a loud scream and then some Italian swears.

I jumped in the air and wondered what catastrophe had happened and looked out of the window and that's what I saw !



Apparently an alcoholic dog had torn the plastic bag into thousand pieces, because inside were empty beer cans or cat food. It was the metal and plastic day garbadge !



Mr. Dog had really done a good job !

Mr. Gattino without drinking his cup of coffee put his (Ferrari) bathrobe on and hurried on the street



despaired he took a closer look on this street artwork



and then collected the whole rubbish and put it in a new bag



I was so busy to take pictures of this event, that my neighbor's daughter came out and helped him at least with moral support because she had a bad back !