7 Feb 2020

FRIDAY's FAVE FIVE

We had a nice Scrabble game, For once I was the third of four ! Outside it rained cats and dogs again and Myriam's swimming pool became a little higher with all that rain. Unfortunately the water is not clean because there are still leaves flying around.

As it had been the "St. Chandeleur" where nobody knows why it's tradition to eat very thin crepe with brown sugar or jam, Myriam had prepared 16 crepes we ate them all except four, but then Mireille's husband came to pick her up and ate with pleasure the remaining four. Nothing was left !



I had the visit of my ex neighbor's sister in law who explained to me why Lilli after having dated a normal looking man, suddenly had disappeared. I had been very sad that she didn't give any sign and I couldn't call her, and apparently she had no computer anymore. What had happened was so unbelievable that it took me a day to try to understand. We lived side by side for 15 years, had travelled together and celebrated Christmas and New Years together and were really good friends. That's why I couldn't understand that after her marriage she disappeared. I contacted her daughter but she said that her mother is completely under her husband's influence.

The poor too good and friendly 60 year old "girl" had fallen in the trap of a Narcissistic pervert manipulator. I had to look up what it was when her SIL had gone : A narcissistic pervert can be defined as a person who creates the dependency relationship with his victim. ... 4- plays a double game: the narcissistic pervert is charming, seductive, brilliant even altruistic in front of others ,tyrannical, dark and destructive in private.

We all had told her not to marry but he convinced her (she is very wealthy) and from that day on, he watched over her and she couldn't do a move alone. It is awful the psychological torture she went through until finally pretending to go to her aqua gym  she escaped only dressed with her bathing suit, a training and a coat and found refuge at one of her four brothers ! As her husband didn't hurt her physically, the police couldn't do anything either. Apparently he still tries to find out where she is to convince her to come back. It's a pity that he didn't find her when she was here ! I had already treated him as if he was a little stupid boy and that he had never forgiven and had told Lilli that I had a bad influence on her ! Of course I felt immediately that there was something wrong with this guy.

Meanwhile she is 65 and when she arrived we were so happy to see each other.  She was in a terrible state. She had lost a lot of weight and trembled. She has to hide from him and is helped by her 4 brothers (she is the only girl and the youngest) so that he doesn't manage to get her back. So she sleeps once here once there and has filed for divorce, but that she can only get when she has officially left her husband for a year. Then she gets the divorce automatically. If he would agree then she could be divorced in 3 months, but he will never let her go.  That's for sure. Fortunately she is in good hands, lawyers and also a specialized psychiatrist for this kind of men plus the family of course.  I don't know what is worse being a beaten woman or one who is psychologically mistreated. His first wife died at not even 60 ! I hope for her that everything will go as quick as possible and that she can get her things back together with police and lawyer ! She had to buy everything new as she only had what she wore when she escaped, a bath suit and a coat !

The next day I was trying to digest all what I had heard and finally a part from a load of laundry I made a TV cure, I had no energy to do anything else.

In my painting course I found my new painting ready, it was dry by now.



Unfortunately I couldn't do another one, because a bottle of glue had leaked into my suitcase which I use to transport all my material, and by the time I had tried to clean and safe what was not full of glue, I had no time to start anything else. The suitcase I thrown away and fortunately my colors were all saved !

As each week we try out another restaurant this time we went into one called "Soho"



I thought it has nothing to do with Soho, it was a combined Asiatic/European food "all you can eat" Restaurant.



The decoration was pretty the service nice and we sat at the round table and discussed all miseries and happiness in life !




more participants at Susanne at Living to tell the Story.



9 comments:

Faith said...

Wow. That's quite an awful experience for your friend. I guess the blessing is that she managed to get away!! I will pray for her safety.

Have a restful weekend

Tamago said...

Oh I'm so sorry your friend has to go through such a terrible experience. Psychological abuse is as awful as physical one. Telling her that you are bad influence is typical behavior of this kind of man, controlling and manipulating, to isolate her from others. I'm glad she is now in good hands. I wish the best for her.

Barbara Harper said...

What an awful experience for your friend. I'm glad she got away and pray her husband never finds her. I'm glad she is under a specialized psychiatrist's care. The restaurant looks good!

William Kendall said...

I hope your friend continues to get help. Her soon to be ex sounds like the sort of reprehensible scum who will only do the world any good by no longer being in it.

Wendy said...

Good to know your friend has got support and help. I hope the divorce goes through smoothly. Looked like you were having fun at the restaurant.

Andrew said...

I hope he didn't get any of her money. I suppose you too have laws that prevent a person going near their ex partner. We call them Intervention Orders and can apply to say a parent harassing a school teacher.

mamasmercantile said...

I am so sorry to hear about your friend. Hopefully she will be able to get her divorce and get rid of him soon.

Susanne said...

I am sorry for your friend and she had to experience that. Agree with Faith in that the blessing would be she got away and is getting help. Praying for her continued safety and peace.

Willow said...

I am so sorry your friend has endured this. It is good that she has escaped and is getting help!