7 Aug 2008

THURSDAY THIRTEEN

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13 Quotes about Mothers-in-law (I didn't have one, but maybe I will be one !)

1. Mother-in-law: A woman who destroys her son-in-law's peace of mind by giving him a piece of her".

2. A husband and wife were shopping when the wife said, "Darling, its my mothers birthday tomorrow. What shall we buy for her? She would like something electric." The husband replied, "How about a chair?!?"

3. I wanted to do something nice so I bought my mother-in-law a chair. Now they won't let me plug it in.

4. I told my mother-in-law that my house was her house, and she said, Get the hell off my property.

5. The lawyer cabled his client overseas: "Your mother-in-law passed away in her sleep. Shall we order burial, embalming or cremation?" Back came the reply, "Take no chances - order all three."

6. At the funeral, a priest was consoling the bereaved man: "Come, come my good man, tears cannot restore your mother-in-law."

7. Adam was the happiest and the most fortunate man in the world, because he didn't had a mother-in-law.

8. Have you heard about this man who took his mother-in-law to the zoo and threw her into the crocodile pool. He is now being sued by the SPCA for being cruel to the crocodiles.

9. Two neighbors were having a chat when one said, "I took my dog to the vet today because it bit my mother-in-law." The other asked, " Did you put it to sleep?" "No, of course not," said the first, "I had its teeth sharpened."

10. My mother-in-law was bitten by a mad dog in the street. "Oh, that's terrible". "Yes, it was terrible to watch the dog die slowly in convulsions."

11. The president of the service club asked his new member, "Would you like to donate something to the home for the aged?" he new member replied, "Yes, my mother-in-law."

12. Wife: "Dear, this afternoon the big clock fell off the wall. Had it fallen a moment sooner, my mother would have been hit on the head and badly hurt.
Husband : Ai yah! That clock has always been a bit too slow.

13. A husband said to his wife, "No, I don't hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law better than I like mine."

12 comments:

pussreboots said...

Fortunately I have a very nice mother in law. Happy TT.

Mar said...

Me too, Pussreboots!
Happy TT, Gattina!! still not making lists...

Mar said...

Where are you??

Puss-in-Boots said...

Yes, I was lucky...I had a lovely mother-in-law. Funny the jokes are always about the wife's mother...never from the wife's perspective about her husband's mother...have you noticed?

claudie said...

Ha! Ha! My mother in law is now 87 years old and very nice but a few years earlier I couldn't support her! And it was the same for her! Et oui! elle était trop vieille France, église, vouvoiement, pas d'humour! Elle comprenait pas qu'on puisse profiter pour nous sans pondre une famille immédiatement! C'est dur de supporter ça à 22 ans maintenant elle perd la tête et elle est adorable!

elaine said...

aaah my mother in law lives many many miles away lol

Vlado&Toni said...

glad i'm happy with my mother in law :) don't need to take any of the quotes here as an advice what to do with her :)

anthonynorth said...

Loved them. #13 was very subtle.

Melli said...

LOL! Well... I both HAVE one and AM one! OY... I never thought about that last bit before! Poor Hector!

JennyKat said...

LOL... these were funny... my husband agreed... even though he loves his m-i-l :-)

eastcoastlife said...

Many men must be feeling very lucky eastcoastlife doesn't have a daughter. hahaha......

SandyCarlson said...

That was therapy for me, Gattina. Thanks!