MANIC MONDAY LINK
When you are a child everything your parents are teaching you, you believe. Your faith in your parents teaching is based on a belief in their credibility. Children don't have other resources to compare their knowledges and therefore base everything on faith. This period of course is very much appreciated by parents.
When I was a child I of course believed everything my father or mother said. Even when it was crap. But that I only found out later. I had faith in them.
This usually changes between 13 and 15 when you become a Teenager. Suddenly you realize that not all what your parents say or had said is right. That's a very big discovery and changes you for the rest of your life. When the troubles with your parents start, it's because you suddenly have a personal opinion. The absolut faith is gone and usually parents are not (yet) used to this sudden changement of behaviour. They suddenly have to face a green haired punk or a belly bouton pierced daughter, and strange friends they don't have any faith in and feel a little lost.
I remember when I was that age I took my father for a stupid guy and everything he told me I was of another opinion even when sometimes he was right. As my mother had no own opinions but always the opinions of my father, I hadn't any trouble with her. Later of course I had to admit that sometimes he was right ! It is also the time were friends take more and more influence and if they are the wrong once that can cause quite some damages.
But apparently it is scientifically proved that the worst a teenager behaves with his parents, the better they are as an adult. Teenagers who don't have any own experiences and never are of another opinion and are the proud of their parents, they do their teen age years usually between 40 and 50. Especially boys. They suddenly think they had missed something and want to live like an 18 year old and taste freedom and new ideas or partners or both. But with a wife or husband and children behind they are not free anymore and that usually causes a lot of damages.
A lot of divorces occur around this age. Amongst my friends of all couples who had divorced either the man or the woman had been very good children, the permanent joy of their parents and had never caused any troubles to them.
Personally I enjoyed being a teenager very much, my parents not at all. And then later I got the bill ! I was the parent and was confronted with a teenager and I can tell you that was much less fun ! But in the end both parties found faith in each other again. (at least in my case). And that is the most important.
what a great post Gattina!! I didn't know the worst teenagers equal the best adults-that is useful info. I have a teenager now and have faith that he will pull through these years and become a great man someday :)
ReplyDeleteGreat post.
Such wisdom and insights. I enjoyed reading your post.
ReplyDeleteI suppose I'll just have to have faith that things will work out when my kids reach their teen years. I know it did for me!
ReplyDeleteGreat post...I acted out and so did my kids! We all came to our senses and my kids are doing just fine (although there were times when I thought of drowning them!)
ReplyDelete~~~Blessings~~~
Deep thoughts and serious thinking, Gattina! but that has helped me through Mr 19's teen years: if he doesn't do it now, when is he going do to it? And I hope for a good relationship when he is an adult (they do grow up and become responsible adults, don't they? lol)
ReplyDeleteHave a relaxed monday :)
I love Rosie's pose.
I'm glad to visit your site this morning! Good news: my Mélissa will the best adult! Un peu de réconfort pour commencer la journée! Je rejoins ma collègue de travail et on va voir le nouveau directeur. Les gars qui assurent la maintenance de l'école n'ont toujours pas déplacé les meubles en fonction des changements de classe! Les élèves rentrent le 4 quand même!
ReplyDeleteOh, I'm glad! That means all our tennagers will be OK! (We've got 4 at the moment...)
ReplyDeleteThanks for your kind words.
Gattina... sometimes you are the smartest woman on the planet! TODAY is one of those times! What a GREAT post!!! I'm going to keep it in mind that Derek and I will be BEST friends when all is said and done!
ReplyDeleteI had never heard of this relationship between teenage rebellion and social success as an adult.
ReplyDeleteProvocative!
This is very similar to what Elizabeth Barrett Browning meant when she wrote:
ReplyDeleteI love thee with the passion put to use In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith. I love thee with a love I seem to lose with my lost saints.
The chain of faith, lack of faith, and faith once more is a normal progression.
Oh that is so true. I was such a horror as a teen and so was my daughter. But we both found each other again and it is such a wonderful relationship that we share.
ReplyDeleteIt appears you and I have experienced the same upbringing and then rearing our own. If fact I could have written this. Thanks for the walk down memory lane Gattina. Have a great MM. :)
ReplyDeleteIn my case, I was very fortunate to decide to do everything the opposite of what my mother said or did. I'm a (relatively) normal & well-adjusted person because of it. It was a sad day in my world, however, when I realized my mother was an incredibly fallible person in whom I could not put my faith.
ReplyDeleteMy MIL always used to tell my BIL that when he has kids, she hopes they are just like him. Somehow I dont think that was a compliment, since my nephew is um, trying at times.
ReplyDeleteTeenage years.... *sigh*...That's when I became stepmom to hubby's girls.
ReplyDeleteDon't want to visit those times anymore...
:-D)
I'm so glad my kids are still young...I dread the day that they become teenagers!
ReplyDeleteMost of this just doesn't apply to my life... but then I guess I'm used to that. I was not a wild teen and I feel I'm a pretty good adult. I did go through a divorce but it happened when I was young and didn't have anything to do with running away from responsibility.
ReplyDelete