25 Nov 2022


 I started the week, sitting in a deep black hole, outside it was raining and a lot of wind. 

The toilet dripped and I couldn't turn off the water tap, I had not enough strength.

I had sent Toby's birthday present twice and my son wanted me to fill in the return forms myself. I didn't even read it all and just sent it back, after all the company was in Amsterdam and I was here in Brussels. I didn't need any paperwork that day. It ended up that he managed everything.

I think he had realized that I was really not in a good shape. Even the best moms break down sometimes. I have hidden so many problems which I had in the last 3 years, because he didn't believe me and thought that I would exaggerate and criticize his father. I couldn't tell him my sorrows and the truth about Rick, this had been a very hard time, where I felt so alone. 

My printer needed a new cartridge and I didn't dare to put in a the new one. I would have loved to sit in a corner and cry. I felt abandoned and alone. After a few tears, I pulled myself together as Isabelle was coming. She cheered me up, fixed the toilet, and made sure that I put the cartridge in properly. All problems were suddenly solved! She is an angel. Isabelle is the person which takes care of me when I need something and represents my son since he lives so far away. 

The next day fortunately I felt much better, did my shopping and also framed the new collage I had done for my family frame.I always update the collage and have kept the old ones since Toby was born.

Then I went over to Adeline next door for a chat. With her maxi family there is always something funny to tell or to complain. That's good for both of us. She also takes care of Rosie when I am in Switzerland.

For the Senior's Christmas celebration in the City Hall I had to book four tickets for us (the happy widows of our building). As it was such a lousy weather outside, I thought, now that you have to do everything via the Internet, I would simply order the tickets by email. The next day I got the confirmation, with the condition that I had to come personally to pick up the tickets. I had to laugh, I was probably the only one who didn't stand in line to get their tickets. 

Since Rick's dead the armchair his son had bought for him for the senior residence, Maria had moved it from my dressing in his room, so that I had more space for the clothes. There it stood for months and I just couldn't take away the cover and empty the chair.

And suddenly in the middle of something I watched on TV, I went in his room, pulled the cover, took two huge plastic bags and separated the things to throw away, the others to give away and some for sale.  Then I was relieved and satisfied, but I also had enough. Now I have to ask somebody to help me to get rid of all these bags. I wrote a little message to my son and he answered me that I have time for doing the rest. Which is also true. But it was a start. 

This morning I looked out of the kitchen window and thought that over night a herd of moles moved into the playground across the street!

Now I wonder what that means ! Wouldn't be surprised if they have planted trees there, so that the kids can't play football, baseball or handball there. Since the Covid lockdown lots of people have become intolerant. Since ages kids played here, and dogs ran around or were walked by their owners.  

At the end of the week I went to see "Lord of the Dance" with Isabel. It was fantastic. The hall is huge for 15,000 people! We had good seats and the hall was almost full. That has been so good for me. For the first time in a long time I felt normal. At least for one evening. As bad as the week started, it ended so well. Isabel made the selfie of us, she loved the show too, which made me happy. She has done so much for me, that the show was only a little Thank you.

more participants at Susanne at Living to tell the Story.


  1. oh i LOVE Lord of the Dance. How fun that you got to go with a friend.
    I'm sorry you were depressed but it's understandable. Glad your week improved.
    Your grandson is a very handsome boy.
    Happy Weekend

  2. I haven't heard are city hall be use for a celebration of any kind. But people here lot of time use a building at our fair grounds.
    Coffee is on and stay safe

  3. In these days with everyone's eyes glued to a screen, how wonderful it is to hear the laughter and shrieks of children at play. Someone has made a very poor decision. Good to know your week improved after a bad start.

  4. You should be thankful for the presence of Isabel as it does you a lot of good, and she's of great help to you!

  5. Oh, what a bad/sad start to your week, but I ma glad your friends surrounded youu with their love and good help. That play/musical sounds amazing!

    I hope your Christmas dinner will be a fantastic affair. Its so nice that your town puts that on for those who otherwise would be all alone.
    Our biggest 'soup kitchen' also puts on such an affair, but its for the homeless and anyone else who feels lonely. Volunteers do the setup and serving. One year the local churches did it, and families together were enjoying the day as much as those whom they were serving.

  6. Even though your week began sadly and slowly, you managed to pull yourself up and out of it. And grey rainy weather can add to that. You are doing what you need to do. And I'm sure Rosie is there to give you snuggles, too.
    Isabel sounds like an angel!
    It does look like trees are being planted in that area.

  7. I am sorry that it has been a hard week. Isabel truly seems to be a gift of help and encouragement to you.
    Good to hear that Toby's present arrived safely.
    It does look like those are trees being planted. I don't think moles are that orderly in making their holes in a field.
    Hoping you have a better week and sunny weather.

  8. I've never seen Lord of the Dance live on stage - only a video of it. It is amazing! I'm sorry you've had a depressing time. Things take time and accomplish things little by little. I was that way when my husband died. Have a lovely weekend.

  9. Glad that your week ended better than it started.

  10. My heart goes out to you Gattina. So hard to navigate your new normal without the loved one you relied on for so many things. Glad that you Isabel was there to sort it out for you. I love River Dance and Lord of the Dance but have never seen any of them live. How fun that you were able to attend.

  11. You are amazing the way you manage to get yourself out of a black mood. Many people in your position would just go down and down.

  12. I'm sorry you had such a rough week. Good friends are gold--glad you have Isabel and Adeline and the week ended better than it started. That show sounds wonderful, as does the Senior Christmas celebration.

  13. So sorry you have had a bad start to the week but it is good news that you have started on sorting out Rick's stuff. It must be so hard. So glad you have friends to help you and to enjoy a show with. Hope you keep feeling better.


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