Lose weight by hiding it somewhere where you'll never find it.
Start smoking to lose weight
Eat more fruit... snacks
Only get divorced and remarried once this year.
Do less laundry and use more deodorant
avoid taking a bath whenever possible and conserve more water.
Stop saying,” Ooh, that feels nice” whenever the security guys frisk you at airports
Stop taking a sleeping pill and a laxative in the same night
Only eat white snow
Don't show up drunk at a custody hearing.