27 Apr 2009

FUN MONDAY - About marriage



Hoosier Girl proposed this topic: Love and Marriage. what is important to a good marriage or relationship? Tell us a story of something endearing about your marriage or your parents' marriage. Include any wedding pictures or images of love that remind you of what a good relationship should be.

A good relationship is when you are not getting on each others nerve after 30 years (to make a round number). I am married for 40 years now and we know each other since 41 years, which is quite a long time. Our friends who married at the same time end the 60th have all divorced after 25 to 35 years of marriage.

For me marriage was or is devided in 3 important parts. Enough time alone together before thinking of babies. When a child or children are there don't forget that you are also a man and a woman and not only a mom and a dad. Quality time as a couple is very important.

Some women as soon as they become mother they are mothers and nothing else. If the marriage breaks then it is not surprising. In the third part of your life together your children have left and you are suddenly alone again like at the beginning of your marriage. If you haven't safed some time as a loving couple there will be no communication anymore, a mom and a dad without children and not a wife and a husband who could now enjoy time together with probably more money and more time as in the beginning.

That's all I have to say about marriage. It would also be better to live at least one year together without making your relationship official. Never buy a cat in a bag, that's what my grandma told me !

These pictures are from October and December 1969, the civil and religious wedding. To get everybody together we had to marry twice ! We were 25 and 28 years old which was quite old for that time.

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20 comments:

Mar said...

What great pictures of a handsome couple!! love your red outfit.

Very clever tips, it's sad to see how quickly couples get a divorce nowadays.

EastCoastLife said...

Woot! What a handsome couple!
Your red dress is so outstanding. :)

I'll take your advice to have a long lasting marriage. :)

Hootin' Anni said...

Great words of wisdom.

Dr.John said...

All of my friends saw marriage as a commitment to each other made before God and none of them have gotten divorced.

claudie said...

Beautiful! really beautiful! Your pictures are marvelous and I love your red mini dress too! I think your points of view about marriage are very realist! As Mar I think now people divorce too easely without trying before to save their relation and change their comportement. Often they get another marriage and divorce again. better to stay alone in that case. i appreciate life when things are more simple than always conflicts!

Shionge said...

Oh Wow!!! Thank you for sharing all your lovely photos and I've gained alot of wisdom from you about marriage :)

I've been ups and downs in my marriage and yes alot of hardwork and nurturing to say the least :D

Thank you my dear friend :D

Sayre said...

Wise words from someone who's been there!!!

LOVE the red dress!!!!

jill said...

any suggestions on spending time together when there IS no time? Pretty soon some of the issues will drop away (my husbands been taking a class and he puts off homework until the absolute last minute and then he has to spend a week solid at his computer away from work, so I am alone with baby--if he fails class we have to shell out a bunch of money, but luckily it ends here in a couple of weeks)... so tell me, what do you do, because we dont know anyone to babysit and family is probably still too far away to let us go on a date?

Janis said...

Great advice on marriage, I totaly agree with you. Love the photos of both of your wedding ceremonies. May your long and happy marriage continue.

Mariposa said...

What a lovely couple you both! And love your red dress and oh my...is it insane to say I heart your legs! Very much!

I completely agree with you and thanks for affirming my theories...since I haven't been there yet.

And I will always remember this post!

Faye said...

What a wise observation--the marriage in stages, each stage building on the other. I sometimes look at my married friends and wonder where the couple is in the midst of child rearing and career. Okay to have to do two ceremonies because you both looked smashing in both civil and religious. An artist would wear a red suit, right?

Gledwood said...

You're well lucky if you managed to stay married that long Gattina without getting driven nuts..!!

You said your friends have all divorced after 25 to 35 years of marriage - but I don't get what changed then? if they were going to divorce why didn't they do it earlier on??

Hoosier Girl said...

That is terrific! And I love the pictures! I will be back to visit you again!

J.

Molly said...

I am glad that you included the pictures. I love to look at pictures from the sixties. I like what you said about marriage being divided into 3 parts. That makes good sense.

Bobbie Leigh said...

I love the pictures, such an attractive couple! (I really love that red dress too.) Congratulations on 40 years of marriage, that is wonderful.

Rinkly Rimes said...

What lovely wedding photos! And the 1960s are only a hop skip and a jump away!

Superwoman said...

Fantastic pictures! I love them. Great advice. Sushiboy and I are in a stage of our marriage where we are both so busy, we need to make time for each other so when this stage ends (and it will), we still like each other. Great advice.

karisma said...

Great advice Gattina, I sure would have listened to you if I had looked for advice first! LOL! I was married so young and had kids straight away so was literally thrown in the deep end. I often tell my kids to do what you say though as I think time together alone before kids would be a bonus. SB and I kind of lived the way you say the mother (me) living for the kids and him working hard for around 15 years, we nearly forgot who we were as a couple for a while there, (though we still loved each other we did not have personal time together) so about 5 years ago we skipped the whole waiting for the kids to grow and and leave for stage three and just got on with having our own time as well as the kids! LOL! It works well for us, but I am looking forward to my second part three when the kids are all grown up. (Mind you I think it might just be too quiet around here for us! LOL! We are used to the craziness!)

Maribeth said...

Thanks for sharing this with us. What a lovely bridal couple you were and are!

Vlado&Toni said...

wow :D you are so beautiful and mr. gattino so handsome :D what a beaufitul couple you are. almost like a celebrity with that red dress.