25 Oct 2007

THURSDAY THIRTEEN


For other Horror Stories please go to Mrs. Lifecruiser"

These are 13 very scary events happening in one night !




I think there are a lot of people having the same problem. They lay in bed and with open eyes they listen to a noise, a very special noise, it first sounds like a light tiger's purr, then like a defect car motor and then like a power saw ! From patient listening you suddenly develop murderous intents : Your parner snores !


1. You whistle. Your partner stops for a second, and continues


2. You push him with your ellbow he stops and growls and .... continues


3. You use your ellbow again a little stronger, he stops growls and turns around ... silence and then starts again


4. You sigh and think about times when your partner slept like an angel with a peaceful happy face and didn't make any noise besides a soft breathing


5. You can't do anything else but listening and it gets louder and louder. You kick your partner with your foot, hard ! He grumbles, sighs and turns around


6. You start to get angry you can't sleep. You throw the covers away and get up. No changement. You go into the kitchen and drink some water


7. You come back, the noise is still there. You jump in the bed, he jumps too stops a second and continues


8. You take your pillow and put it over your ear. Nothing to do the noise has increased slightly


9. You take a book and slam it on your partner"s head. He stops opens one eye and asks you "Is there something darling ?"


10. You mumble a negative answer lay down, sigh and try to sleep but your ears are watching for a noise


11. It starts again ! He snores and snores peacefully and from time to time he champs with satisfaction


12. It gets louder and louder now the level on "power saw". With rage you take your pillow and a blanket and flee to the living room on the couch. But you still hear the noise in your mind ...


13. In the morning you sit at the breakfast table with dark rings under your eyes and a pale face you yawn and feel so tired. He comes in looking fresh and rested and asks "Did you sleep well Darling ?"

That's enough !!!

You jump up, take the bread knife and stab him. Now he lays on the white kitchen floor in a big pool of blood the knife in his chest his fresh looking face now white, just like yours.... He will never snore again ! *



*Don't worry this "happy" end is only for Halloween


30 comments:

pussreboots said...

I see you know my husband! Happy TT. I'm going to make him read your list. LOL.

Anonymous said...

I am sitting in my living room now, listening to my hubby snore through a closed door.

I should make him read this tomorrow!!!

FRIDAY'S CHILD said...

My hubby doesn't snore thanks God! But he does dream and sometimes dreams about fighting and poor me.
Thanks for hopping by.

Pamela said...

oh dear. I hope we never have to share a room when I go traveling with you. zzzzzzzzzz

MaR said...

A nightmare!! lol, love the Halloween ending, great story!

Shosh said...

For a second there, I thoght you were talking about my husband. LOL>

I admit to pulling his pubic hair to make him stop...it's not a permanent solution though.

Robin said...

Bwahahaha

bernie said...

I just ordered a snore pillow - I'll let you know how it works out.

My TT is at 13 Things Egyptian your grandchildren will never see

Puss-in-Boots said...

I used to feel like putting the pillow over his face and leaning on it...hard!

Anonymous said...

Ha!Ha! still an horror!!!
Tu es en forme! Viens donc chez moi pour prendre une leçon de cuisine sur les patates! Un beau et jeune papa est là et je pense qu'il ne ronfle pas encore! Voilà je retourne au turbin! Plus que demain et après VACANCES!

Anonymous said...

Yes, snoring sure must be one of the most common reasons to murder.... *giggles*

Luckily I don't have any big problem with it, I seem to be sleeping well anyway - totally dead! *giggles*

When we were at Fårö last summer, the youngsters there one morning asked me how I could sleep with Mr Lifecruiser snoring so the whole place shaked the night before, they heard it when they passed by - on the outside! I didn't even noticed. Oh, yes, a bit snoring first but I can take that, but obviously I had already gone to sleep when the worst part started and I slept WELL.

jenn said...

My hubby snored...until I sent him for a sleep study. Now he sleeps on a bi-pap. Ahhh, the quiet!
Happy TT!

Hootin' Anni said...

LOLOLOLOLOL

But, if it were me...I'd stopped at #8 and used the pillow for another purpose than covering MY EARS!!! I would have covered some snoring orifice. LOLOLOLOL

And I love your Wordless Wednesday....it follows one of my 'riddles' from yesterday's blogging.

Why does America no longer have Thanksgiving? "Cause the turkey remains in Washington!" ---or something like that.

Happy T T-ing

Janet said...

Hmmmm...why didn't I think of doing that instead of just divorcing him? Messier, yeah, but quick and painless (for me!).

Maribeth said...

Oh I do know how this is!!! I love the cartoons as well.

Anonymous said...

I traveled with some two other women recently and one of them snored. Her feeling were hurt when no one wanted to be in the same room with her. My husband and I don't snore. He does say that I pull the covers though. Thanks for the funny cartoons.

Melli said...

Whooooo! LUCKY for Dennis I discovered ear plugs - or he might have met this end come Halloween! Soon I will have a "spare" room to run off to should the need arise!!! YAY!

Vlado&Toni said...

love that cartoon about the bear. oh i can relate much to this :( the only solution that helps me is to get up and sleep in the guest room..

Sassyfrazz said...

That snoring...it is such a bother!
Happy TT~

Sassyfrazz said...

That snoring...it is such a bother!
Happy TT~

Lori said...

LMAO...thats why I wear earplugs...they are wonderful;) Happy TT and thanks for stopping by. You always make me smile!!

Sandee said...

Bwahahahah, this works Gattina. I've been there. I love you solution too. Have a great TT. :)

Aline de Chevigny said...

LOL sad isn't it.

Aline

Anonymous said...

Gattina, what a great comment you made on habits. I do think we get a third round and get to make up a whole new bunch of stuff!

Anonymous said...

Funny TT and you obviously know your husband well. I never snore of course - I just sleep *giggles*

Anonymous said...

I have a problem. My 33 year old husband already sounds like a buzzsaw....what will he be like in 30 years? We may need a bigger house by then.....Great TT!

Anonymous said...

OMG I so hear you! My husband just had the apnea surgery, but he is still snoring. #$@#@#!!! I'm usually pushing him off the bed. lol

Jackie said...

LOL He claims I snore as well! LOL

Dorothy said...

LOL and amen...
the older the man the louder the noise.

Anonymous said...

Too funny! I'm going to have to send my husband to read this, maybe he'll think twice that it's not a small matter to him after all ;-)