The worst is that during our marriage I always forgot our wedding day and was surprised when he arrived with flowers or a little cat figurine.
I took this picture in July 2020 on our terrace, before he had to be hospitalized two months later. Meanwhile the second lockdown arrived and he was stuck there, and I wasn't allowed to visit him at all ! Then I had to choose a retirement home with special care for Parkinson/Alzheimer patients. He needed 24 h care and I was too old for that.
Last year he still was able to come home for a day, but he only came two times. Then he didn't want to come anymore, he preferred to stay in his retirement home.
at least the lockdowns were over and I could visit him. This picture was taken last year in September.
Then he started to get worse and worse and he couldn't play his beloved Whist anymore, so his Whist friend started to play other games with him. But he didn't want any visit anymore, only I could see him, they had to dress him in a special cloth with a zip on the back, because each time the nurses dressed him, he waited until they were gone and then he got rid of all his clothes. That's when I asked the reception not to allow any visits anymore. A question of dignity.
Now I celebrate my wedding day with all the things my son has brought me when he emptied his room 4 months ago.
Still unpacked. Maybe I will ask somebody from the social service to help me, it depends on "my mental health" (I hear these words every day on TV)
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Big healing hug on this day, Gattina. ♥
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry for your loss. 53 years is a lot of good time spent together. There is a reason they call it The Long Goodbye.
ReplyDeleteSending warm wishes and hugs. I know it must be very difficult for you. As Queen Elizabeth famously said, Grief is the price we pay for love. I wish it wasn't so.
ReplyDeleteThat's quite a nice photo of you and Rick. I suppose there will be many reminders throughout every year.
ReplyDeleteJust leave those things to be unpacked when you are ready.
ReplyDeleteWe are so sorry for your loss. There is no rush to unpack or sort out things. Your loss and pain is still so new. Take your time and don't beat up on yourself. My dad did the same thing towards the end, refusing to leave his clothes on. That disease is very nasty to the brain. Remember the good times and know he is with you in spirit.
ReplyDeleteMore healing hugs, Gattina.
ReplyDeleteThank you for joining the Wordless Wednesday Blog Hop.
Have a fabulous Wordless Wednesday. ♥
First milestone days can be so hard. Thanks so much for sharing this very special day with us.
ReplyDeleteSending you a ton of hugs.🥰🥰🥰. and some flowers for the occasion:💐
My husband died in January of this year. The illnesses which took our husbands were quite different, but the void in our lives is likely much the same. I have found so much help sharing with other widows in grief support groups or church or the neighborhood. No one understands quite like someone else who has suffered the loss of a life partner. I think it is like learning to live after an amputation. In time we adjust, but there will always be a special part of us missing.
ReplyDeleteMay God grant you comfort. Thank you for sharing your post at https://image-in-ing.blogspot.com/2022/10/tile-and-wood-work-at-sancar-turkish.html. If you ever wish to "talk" with someone who understands, feel free to be in touch. suzannenroth@gmail.com.