27 May 2022


Time flies by so quickly, that I get the impression we are approaching Christmas ! This week we had a moody weather, sunshine, rain, storm, cold, warm and it was difficult to choose something to wear. The pedicure came and it was the first time. She is the same as Rick has in his retirement home. Nice girl to chat with and now I have completely new feet. 

I was not feeling well but went to check on Rick. Ever since I had discovered that one had forgotten him or whatever, I had lost all trust and  checked every day if everything was like it should be. 

This time it was perfect He lay like a prince on his new water mattress and he made travel plans for us again. Then the nurse came and told me that he really is a special case and does things that are actually impossible for someone in his condition. I told her that he was already like that at home and that our four cats jumped off the bed when he turned off the light. 

He must have understood all of that because he ordered me to stop telling stories. The sister was amazed that he had understood all this and we both had to laugh. He also tried to laugh but all wthat came out was a grimace. That was the last time he reacted "normally".

The next day I returned again, and found him sleeping with one of the balls I had brought him squeezing in his hand. Everything was perfect, the ventilator was on and the room was tidy and smelled good. He was well shaved so I didn't wake him up but closed the door and returned home. I went a bit to Adeline my neighbor and she is always so comforting. She has lost one of her three sons when he was only 32 and understands very well what I am feeling. Her hairs became white over night !

On Wednesday I got a call from the home, that Rick's condition has deteriorated and the doctor should come. It was like someone hit me on the head with a hammer, but as always, I do what has to be done, I called our doctor. She told me that she would have to change his medication and that she would start palliative care and that I don't need to come. But I went in the afternoon, he was sleeping, again with the ball in his hands. He didn't wake up and I stayed there watching him sleep and returned home. Strangely I was feeling much better, because now I know that he won't suffer and fall asleep one day nobody knows when. 

This weekend my son will come again, he wanted to come right away, but I told him that it is better to stay home and rest, if something happens he still can jump in his car and come. After all the poor boy has also a lot of work and his wife is not feeling well either. 

Looking through the pictures I found a video of Rick, like he was, speaking with his hands and loud and discussing with a friend but as they spoke both at the same time I don't know about what they had this animated discussion. 



more participants at Susanne at Living to tell the Story.


  1. Well, he is Italian born and must talk with his hands as well as his voice. I guess he isn't doing that now.

  2. Hard times for you and son! I remember when my late mother was released from hospital, the social worker told me i might have to put her in a facility. I said I won't do that. I'll keep her at home with a personal carer (it's the usual thing here); going to see her everyday and checking on her and the staff, will ruin me completely. To make arrangements at home takes time, and she didn't make it, after all.

  3. This is certainly a tough time for you. Look after yourself.

  4. I'm so sorry to hear about your husband. It's a difficult time for you. I'm glad you have friends and your son to help you. God bless you.

  5. This is hard for you, I know. And hard for your son and family. Take care of yourself, too. Hugs.

  6. I am pleased that you are happy with the care he is receiving in the home. You can't be with him all the time so it is important for you to have trust in his care. The next few weeks are going to be so hard for you . I think of you often knowing that you want to be with Rick but then how difficult it is when there is little response from him. Take care of yourself, my friend.

  7. Its so hard to have to go through all of this, but it is good that your Rick is now receiving excellent care, and not suffering. How sweet that he 'woke up' for a bit. That will be a precious memory.

  8. My heart goes out to you and your family, Gattina. A very difficult time for you all. I'm glad Rick is receiving good care in the palliative center.

  9. I'm so sorry for Rick's deterioration. I'm glad they are taking good care of him now and attentive to his needs. I am glad you have good friends and your son.


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