THURSDAY THIRTEEN - Christmas Harmony

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On Christmas usually families get together and therefore Ma and Pa are arriving in your home in order to celebrate a nice and harmonious Christmas.

When they arrive :

1. Ma looks around and asks "when have you dusted the last time ?" and Pa asks, "why are the coats all hanging here, don't you have a wardrobe and all these shoes laying around ! At my time we had to put our shoes in a shoe cabinet !"

2. Ma says "where is your son, is he gone again ?" (pointing out "again" as if he would live in the street) and Pa adds "at least when we are arriving he should be at home, the car is full of gifts !

3. Then they start to argue about where to put the wrapped gifts. Each family member has a space under the tree. Pa wants to be on the right side, Ma too, child on all places and you look hopeless for help to the ceiling.

4. Pa says " you bought an old tree" and Ma adds " it's loosing its needles already !" and "why didn't you take the golden decoration from last year instead of this new ugly red one ?"

5. Looking at the gifts which finally found a place under the Christmas tree child says "what ? is that all ?"

6. Grandpa states " the children of today want always more ! at my time (when was his time ???) we were happy with a few oranges and a wooden horse.

8. Child said : "Pff, wooden horse, I prefer a real one ! and oranges I eat the whole year long !"

9. Pa said " then be good at school and find a good job and then you can buy yourself a horse !" and with a disdainful look to the parents adds " they cannot afford it"

10. Ma in the kitchen, looked at the turkey : "isn't it a bit small ?" and Pa : "how big is it ?" Daughter says "xxx" kgs/lbs Ma "what ??? that's too big !!!" Pa said, "I don't want to eat turkey for a whole week, (a whole week ??? Help !)

11. Ma : "I'll prepare the turkey, yours was not good last year !" Pa said "No, she has to do it, after all we are the guests, and she does it better than you" ! Ma runs crying out of the kitchen. Pa said "she is hysterical".

12. Daughter runs behind "Please come back, you can do it" After a niagara fall of tears, she finally comes back.

13. Pa shouts "every year the same fights, I wonder why we are coming here with a car full of gifts ! Nothing is normal in this household !" (I just wondered what is "normal" ?)



Pa : "and the cat sits on the table, that's disgusting !"

And so was my Christmas for many years. Dramatical, but I survived !