1. A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.
2. There is absolutely nothing to be said in favour of growing old. There ought to be leglislation against it.
3. The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.
4. Age to women is like Kryptonite to Superman.
5. Many people die at twenty five and aren't buried until they are seventy five.
6. When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half.
7. By the time you're eighty years old you've learned everything. You only have to remember it.
8. To be seventy years young is sometimes far more cheerful and hopeful than to be forty years old.
9. As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two...
10. As you get older, the pickings get slimmer, but the people don't.
11. As we grow older, our bodies get shorter and our anecdotes longer.
12. The age of a woman doesn't mean a thing. The best tunes are played on the oldest fiddles.
13. You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.
