31 Jan 2022


 Kiwi, doggy of a friend




On Saturday I visited Rick. Already when I opened the door and saw him I thought he is not well today and indeed, he must have undressed because his trousers were the wrong way, the back was in front and his jacket was tucked inside. 

He fiddled with his remote control and couldn't manage to turn down the volume, even though it's a very special and easy remote control my son had bought for him, there were only two keys, one for the volume and one for the channels. 

After I got his clothes in order he started complaining about his waffles, that he didn't have enough, although I had brought 4 packages of 10 waffles each! He behaved like a hamster, who provided for the winter. 

Finally I noticed that he was tired and preferred to stay alone,  he couldn't speak well either. I left and drove home. Honestly I was pretty down. Of course nobody called me to know how I was doing. That's because I am a "strong" woman. At least that's what people believe, but even strong people can have weak moments ! I slept very badly that night too. I always think he will become better, but there is no hope it will only get worse. I absolutely need to learn not to let myself go like this. If I don't work anymore what then? 

On Sunday when I woke up I thought I stay in bed  but coffee called and I had to get up to feed little Rosie 

Outside the sun was shining a bit and I drank my coffee. I just didn't want to do nothing. And then the phone rang and it was my friend Claudie who lives in the South of France who called me just to know how I was. I was really happy, that she had thought of me. We chatted for an hour and then I was feeling better ! I was sure that if I need a change I am always welcome in her home.

After lunch I picked up Nicole, who is not allowed to drive anymore because of her brain cancer and my neighbor came over too, and we enjoyed the warm sun shining through the windows. 

We had a real nice afternoon and so much to tell ! Nicole is looking now for a retirement home, because she feels not secure anymore alone in her apartment. Probably she will join Rick ! That would be nice although Nicole has no problems at all with her brain !

The weatherman just announced a storm for tomorrow ! 


  1. A very cute dog.

    It must be so hard to see Rick like that, once a vital, smart and outgoing person. You will have bad times and you are allowed to feel very down. Friends can be supportive if you think you need their care, but sometimes it is better to keep things to yourself. Hey, I am am man and that is what we do.

  2. It is a sad time for you. It is so hard to see a loved one deteriorate. When My mother was suffering dementia in a home, the matron said to me, "You can grieve now because you have lost the person that used to be your mother." That helped me quite a lot. So I say to you it is okay to grieve now because Rick isn't the person he used to be and you are alone now. So glad that Caudia called and you had friends visit. Thinking of you.

  3. You are doing so well. Losing the man you have loved for so long will never be easy. Good friends are precious and you are fortunate to have a couple of friends who can be with and escape to for a few hours.

  4. Most people don't understand Parkinsons and think it is a disease that cause tremors and nothing more. They are so wrong and the disease is really torture for those who love the person. You never know what you will get, the the sick person has no idea how they are behaving and how hard they are making life for their loved ones. You can only do so much but mostly, remember to take care of yourself.

  5. Awww on that cute pup. I love kitties and pups. I'd have a houseful if hubby would let me.

    I'm so sorry that you don't have a better support system for what you're going through with Rick. It's ever so tiring and difficult. I'm glad you had your friend from France call and that your friends came by. That made me smile.

    Thank you for joining the Awww Mondays Blog Hop.

    Have a fabulous Awww Monday and week, Gattina. ♥

  6. I hear you about people not asking how you are doing. A friend was due to come late November: I am still waiting for her to arrive (we cancelled then due to Covid).

    I hope the nice phone call and the visit from your friends will keep your spirits up for a while.

  7. LIfe can be a challenge and I am so sorry that Rick is not doing well. Best to remember who he was. Your afternoon with friends was just what you needed. Take care and remember the good times!

  8. It's good that people are looking out for you.

  9. It must be hard to visit Rick.
    Coffee is on and stay safe

  10. That must have been a difficult visit and yes, as mentioned above, you are having to grieve the loss of your husband as you knew him. And that is hard. It's ok to feel down about it. It's also ok to enjoy spending time with your friends. It's a lot to cope with and this time of year with dreary weather and no prospect of a holiday I'm sure it feels worse. Let's hope spring comes soon.

  11. I am sorry you had such a tough time when you went to see Rick. Is there a social worker there in the home who you can discuss your feelings and get some help when you feel down. We have those where I work and they are a great help to the families of the peeps I care for, they do ask how you are doing, and they mean it too.
    I am glad you have good friends who you can discuss those things with too.
    Doesn't make it easier, but it helps to vent and even cry...
    Parkinsons is such a devastating illness, and it robs you of your loved one little by little... I send you lots of hugs.

    Rosie looks like she enjoyed her meal:)
    And Kiwi is a cutie!


Dear Anonymous,
Please do not be shy and leave your name, otherwise you will end up in the bin !