AN INDEPENDENT WOMAN

This quote is exactly what I learned at a very early age ! In my mother's generation women had not much to say "legally" that didn't mean that they were stronger then their husbands, but officially a man had to be strong and a woman had to be weak. Man could work and study what they wanted, women were mostly trained to become good mothers and housewives.

When I was about 10, I felt that there was something wrong with my parents. My mother was mostly ill and my father as soon as he came home started to nag and critisize my mother and me. My mother's reaction as she wasn't a strong woman was to get all kind of diseases which I realize today were mostly psychological.

I never got a compliment from my father, I was ugly, too skinny, too stupid, impossible, and anyway there was nothing to do with me, all other girls were perfect only I wasn't.  In short I was not a "normal" girl.

And that was because I was very independant, I learned to defend my mother and told my father things which were true but which of course he didn't want to hear.  As I had always to fight against him and protect my mother I became strong, or it made me strong.

I never cried when I started school like all the other little girls, I walked home alone and feared nothing. The first time I travelled alone was when I was 7 years old, my father put me in the train with a carton around my neck with name and address, and asked the ticket inspector to keep an eye on me and so I sat in the wagon and chatted with the adults and 300 km further in Frankfurt my Grandpa picked me up.

My grandma was a strong and independant woman born in 1894, and she taught me to never be afraid of a man and only to marry if I find one who lets me live and not a guy like my father ! For that there was no danger, I still have my diary from when I was 14 and there is a full white page with only one sentence on it "Never marry a guy like your father". And  I didn't.

Later when I was adult and married and mother myself he tried to interfere in my marriage and the way how we should bring up our son. I didn't listen fortunately !

When I found the right man and we married, I didn't need to defend myself or our son  Mr. G. was not a father but rather the sweetest daddy in the world who allowed everything, with the result that I had the impression to bring up not one but two sons !

Linking to Linda G.Hills SOCS - Independence