THE GPS AND I

Like all children with a new toy I have to use my recently acquired GPS and therefore use it also to lead me to places where I have been a 100 times before. I tell myself that I have to get used to it and how it works.

My GPS is a lady who speaks several languages so I can choose between English, German or French amongst others. I choose french. The GPS lady and I sometimes have fights. I want to go to a place where I always took the highway because it is the quickest way, unfortunately I had asked her to show me the shortest so she wants me to go through the city during rush hours. To show her who is the boss I take the highway of course. Immediately she asks me to turn and that in the middle of the highway ! She is crazy. I ignore her and continue. She finally gives up and agrees and we stay on the highway.

But last time I got really angry with her. I asked her to go to my supermarket on the shortest way. I had especially looked up the street to give her clear instructions. The fight already started when I got out of the garage. Instead of turning left she asked me to turn right. I put my finger on my forehead and turned left. She immediately asked me to take the first exit and turn right. She is completely crazy I thought if I turn right I go in a completely other direction and not at all to my Supermarket. I remained on my left. After having ordred me for the X time to turn right (even on the chaussee !) I finally got very angry and told her to shut up. Of course she didn't so I pushed on "standby" and cut her orders off !

Now I could drive in peace to my destination and do my shopping. To return home there was no problem there we both agreed on the way to take.

At home I complained to Mr. Gattino that Mrs. GPS had misled me the whole time ! He checked and stated : Of course if you put the wrong address ! I said "what wrong address ?" and then I looked, instead of chausse de Hal I had put chaussee de Mons which of course was in a completely other direction. Now I have to present my excuses.

THE JOY OF A GPS

don't miss the Ice Sculpture Exposition in Brugge


Mr. Gattino discovered a GPS in a shop to a very interesting price. We convinced each other that we absolutely needed it and how could it be possible that we didn't think about such an acquisition before. I am blind like a mole when it is dark, I have no sense of orientation and going somewhere always is an adventure because I never make it without turning senselessly around and he doesn't need it.

I would safe petrol that also is a good reason. In short in commun agreement we decided to buy it. He jumped (for once) in his car and shortly after came back with our new toy.

Then he started to read the instructions what I never do, I usually just push all buttons and see what happens.

After he had explained to me how it works, I used it for the first time to drive to my friend who also lives in a suburb of Brussels. My GPS lady (it is a female voice) told me where I had to turn right or left but suddenly she was mute and the thing didn't work anymore. Fortunately I knew the road and arrived anyway.

To go home I pushed with my finger on "favourites" where Mr. Gattino had saved our address. Strangely my GPS lady spoke again. But suddenly there was no light anymore and I looked at a dark screen. I gave it up, put the thing on the side seat and drove home. There I realized that I had pushed on "mute" and had also touched the button "Stand By" that's why of course it couldn't work. I had put it on my knees and had probably touched the digital screen with the sleeve of my coat. This was reason enough to finally install the holder.

Yesterday I wanted to go to IKEA on the other end of Brussels. I put the address in and started. My lady told me to go right then left and then ahead. I followed the instructions. But instead of taking me to the highway and from there directly to IKEA she decided to offer me a sightseeing and directed me direction Brussels and then into an area where I had never been despite the fact that I live here for 50 years. It was very interesting. I didn't know at all where I was. But for sure I was in the middle of the city and therefore stuck in the traffic.

Suddenly I had to turn around a church, I found it strange but then realized that I had mixed up left with right, which happens very often and she had corrected my error. Now I pinched myself in the right arm when it was right and in the left when it was left, only in my mind of course. Her voice took me on the highway which I should have taken in Waterloo but far more ahead. Then she told me that I was there and it was true IKEA was in front of me. It had taken me almost an hour to get there, my usual way does it in 25 min. I decided that on the way back I would take the Highway as I had done enough sightseeing for today.

Of course once on the highway she told me to get out at the next exit. I ignored her bravely and continued my way. Apparently she didn't agree because she told me to turn around and this on the highway ! Judging this far to dangerous I refused and continued straight ahead. A few km farer she told me again to get out. I knew what she wanted she wanted me to cross the city again but I didn't want. Finally I arrived at the exit : Waterloo and there she got it ! She directed me safely home.

Now I ask myself can I really trust her when I am in another city or even in another country where I don't know anything ? One thing is for sure : I have to train myself to know exactly where right and left is ! Do you know a trick to help me ?