AN ITALIAN IN MALTA

When we have guests at home,  Mr. G. likes to read an English story with his very strong Italian accent. Italians are unable not to roll their r, and if a bell rings it rrrrrrings !

The story is about



"One day ima gonna Malta to bigga hotel. In morning I go down to eat breakfast. I tella waitress I wanna two pissis toast. She brings me only one piss; I talla her I want two piss. She say go to the toilet. I say you no understand, I wanna to piss onna my plate. She say you better no piss onna plate, you sonna ma bitch. I don't even know the lady and she call me sonna ma bitch.

Later I go to eat at the bigga restaurant. The waitress brings me a spoon and knife but no fock. I tella her I wanna fock. She tell me everyone wanna fock. I tell her you no understand. I wanna fock on the table. She say better not fock on the table, you sonna ma bitch.

So I go back to my room and there is no shits onna my bed. Call the manager and tella him I wanna shit. He tell me to go to toilet. I say you no understand. I wanna shit on my bed. He say you better not shit onna bed, you sonna ma bitch !

I go to the checkout and the man at the desk say : "Peace on you". I say piss on you too, you sonna ma bitch, I gonna back to Italy !"

Accents can sometimes be very funny, be assured that I don't sink but think !

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