5 Apr 2012


Jenny Matlock
more participants at Jenny Matlock's Alphabet Thursday

Yesterday evening I was laying sitting happily on my sofa, with an apple in one hand, the remote control in the other and Rosie rolled up like a little snail on my lap with the intention to watch a wonderful Love Story with a lot of dramas, misunderstandings an then a happy end.

Mr. G. had a nice book to read (probably about the Mafia, he likes it) so I was alone and could choose what I liked. Not that we have any problems in watching TV together, we always try to find a compromise. If that is not possible, then we watch our things separated.

So I looked for my love romance. We have about 70 channels and I really were convinced to find something. I had quite some choice as I could watch in German, French, English, and even the Dutch/Flemish channels as they are mostly subtitled in English. I started the hard work of zapping.

First I landed in France, a stupid talk show with a guy who took himself for the belly bottom of the world and found himself very charming. I got bored and changed.

Now I saw one of the CSI series. They were just busy to find out what the murdered victim had eaten. They digged with tweezers and other medical instruments in his stomac, and you had a lovely view on a disgusting dark colored mass which looked like vomit.

I looked at my appetizing apple and changed quickly. Next was another crime story where the pathologist just fumbled in red meat looking for a lost bullet while the blood dropped from the table. I wondered from which animal the meat came from it could hardly be the "dead" actor's flesh.

Not giving up so easily, l went on and hoped to find my romantic movie, and yes I found it !

Finally !! I took another piece of my apple.

He kissed her passionately, but then, behind her neck he suddenly had a nylon string in his hand and what did he do ? He strangled her !! Isn't it a shame ? She dropped on the floor with open loving eyes and died.

I got enerved ! This was definitely not so romantic and I switched to the next channel. This time it was something very interesting for me, a Golf game ! An old bold guy stand there like a statue, with his club in one hand and looked concentrated at a hole as if a mouse or a mole would come out.

After a while, as nothing came out of the hole not even a worm, I didn't follow this event further and zapped again. Some Arabs with their checkered kitchen towel on their heads and some soldiers in their camouflage uniform with big guns in their hands looked at each other and before anything could happen or somebody got shot, I changed, that was not for me I am a peaceful person !

I looked angrily at the screen, still no love story ! This time I saw a masked black dressed person jumping out of a bush on a peacefully walking women, a blade was glittering in the moonshine (this was romantic, I mean the moonshine) and ....stabbed her in the chest ! I didn't wait for the blood streaming out of her and went further. Now it became better, a scientific explanation about spiders, beatles, worms and other disgusting critters which I dearly "love", so I quickly switched before a hairy spider was zoomed.

Elephants ! that I like, they are cute, not so easy to keep in a house but still they are nice animals. Maybe not so good companions for my cats, they could step on them and I love my cats and not cat pancakes.

After mass car accidents, floods, fire, bombings, bank attacks and other catastrophes, I finally gave up and realized that there was nothing, but absolutely nothing on TV. I wonder why we pay for it ?

I moved an angry Rosie from my lap and looked through our DVDs which I hadn't watched yet. And what did I find ? DVDs of my son, full of science fiction, war stories and other stuff of no interest to me ! Offended, I switched off the TV, picked up Rosie and went to bed with a book !

But before I checked if there were no bloodstaines on the floor and under the TV.


Cezar and Léia said...

LOL I'm delighted here by your story.Girl, you are a very talented writer, I love your chronic, the way you took us with you in the story scenery!
While I was reading, I noticed again the white hands in your sidebar , clap and wave to me, and I saw "paintings"! Now I'm curious and I'm going to visit your link.
You see...the white hands works well! :)
Here I used the parental controls to block English channels as I'm engaged with my French. We don't pay for any special TV channels, so...we don't have many options indeed.
Last night Cezar and I were watching that BBC series "Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson's adventures in 21st Century London" ,in fact I watch it in French ( French TV ) and it's free.I like a lot and for me it was great!
*** Between us I KNOW Cezar doesn't like Sherlock Holmes,but he stayed by my side pretending to pay attention ...LOL
bisous and forgive me, I wrote a lot today! ;)

Linens and Royals said...

This post is funnier than any TV show. I like to sew while I watch TV so I don't always notice the dripping blood and I can't watch anything with sub-titles while I sew. Also I only speak English and here there are not so many TV channels to choose from. For romance I watch the American soap Bold and The Beautiful. It's full of love and multiple marriages, I can't miss a single episode.

jfb57 said...

Hee hee! What a great start to my day! You should send this to the programmers!

BTW - the link you published doesn't go anywhere so folks have to find this post. Glad I did!

21 Wits said...

Ha, ha! So very funny. When are you going to host your own show?

Sallie (FullTime-Life.com said...

You are SO funny Gattina. And I see TV is no better over there than it is here. Bill likes those CSI progams -- yuk... unless I put my earphones on, I hear them while I'm on the computer -- our house right now if VERY small. Hearing them is more than enough for me.

Rocky Mountain Woman said...

Nice to know that tv sucks everywhere.

I finally got rid of my satellite, there still isn't anything on, but I save $70 bucks a month!

Tinsie said...

We usually just settle for CSI. It's ALWAYS on. Sometimes on multiple channels. It's a staple.

storybeader said...

very funny! I hardly watch any tv, except for news. It's my DH who's watching, with me on the computer! Hope a good old fashioned love story is still out there! {:-Deb

Ames said...

I am laughing so hard. I love your blow by blow of each and every worthless TV program. You are so right!~Ames

anitamombanita said...

I find TV excruciatingly boring these days. I think the last cartoon says it best!

Lmkazmierczak said...

I admit I am somewhat of a tv addict...I pore over the various synopses in the guide and record everything I might find interesting. I have way too much of a back load, but I can zip through the commercials and watch a one hour show in about 40 minutes. Makes me a whiz at trivia games, and most of the time I still find time to read a book a week, work on my own book, bike ride, and tend to my (grown) family♫♪

To the Toy Box and Beyond said...

it seems like the more channels you have the fewer good shows there are We pay way to much for tv and I usually watch the local channels anyways

VBR said...

I had to laugh quite loudly when I read this post because the same type of scenario and conversations go on in my house. It is beyond belief that we pay for television and yet, after zapping and searching there really isn't anything on television. So, when shows such as Downington Abbey come on we are all so happy!

H said...

You have summed up TV so beautifully and accurately! It never ceases to astound me how I can have such a big choice of channels and STILL not be able to find anything that I really want to watch.
And, isn't it funny how a channel always seems to go to adverts about 30 seconds after being chosen!

Unknown said...

Isn't that always the way! I pay way too much for TV but luckily I do have options which can normally fulfill my desires most days.... Most:-)

Jenny said...

This post made me laugh and nod my head in agreement!

That last cartoon was sooooo spot on!

Thanks for the smile!

Glad you had your apple, at least!

Hugs and A+