TV PROGRAMS - THE AGONY OF CHOICE

more participants at Jenny Matlock's Alphabet Thursday

Yesterday evening I was laying sitting happily on my sofa, with an apple in one hand, the remote control in the other and Rosie rolled up like a little snail on my lap with the intention to watch a wonderful Love Story with a lot of dramas, misunderstandings an then a happy end.

Mr. G. had a nice book to read (probably about the Mafia, he likes it) so I was alone and could choose what I liked. Not that we have any problems in watching TV together, we always try to find a compromise. If that is not possible, then we watch our things separated.

So I looked for my love romance. We have about 70 channels and I really were convinced to find something. I had quite some choice as I could watch in German, French, English, and even the Dutch/Flemish channels as they are mostly subtitled in English. I started the hard work of zapping.

First I landed in France, a stupid talk show with a guy who took himself for the belly bottom of the world and found himself very charming. I got bored and changed.

Now I saw one of the CSI series. They were just busy to find out what the murdered victim had eaten. They digged with tweezers and other medical instruments in his stomac, and you had a lovely view on a disgusting dark colored mass which looked like vomit.

I looked at my appetizing apple and changed quickly. Next was another crime story where the pathologist just fumbled in red meat looking for a lost bullet while the blood dropped from the table. I wondered from which animal the meat came from it could hardly be the "dead" actor's flesh.

Not giving up so easily, l went on and hoped to find my romantic movie, and yes I found it !

Finally !! I took another piece of my apple.

He kissed her passionately, but then, behind her neck he suddenly had a nylon string in his hand and what did he do ? He strangled her !! Isn't it a shame ? She dropped on the floor with open loving eyes and died.

I got enerved ! This was definitely not so romantic and I switched to the next channel. This time it was something very interesting for me, a Golf game ! An old bold guy stand there like a statue, with his club in one hand and looked concentrated at a hole as if a mouse or a mole would come out.

After a while, as nothing came out of the hole not even a worm, I didn't follow this event further and zapped again. Some Arabs with their checkered kitchen towel on their heads and some soldiers in their camouflage uniform with big guns in their hands looked at each other and before anything could happen or somebody got shot, I changed, that was not for me I am a peaceful person !

I looked angrily at the screen, still no love story ! This time I saw a masked black dressed person jumping out of a bush on a peacefully walking women, a blade was glittering in the moonshine (this was romantic, I mean the moonshine) and ....stabbed her in the chest ! I didn't wait for the blood streaming out of her and went further. Now it became better, a scientific explanation about spiders, beatles, worms and other disgusting critters which I dearly "love", so I quickly switched before a hairy spider was zoomed.

Elephants ! that I like, they are cute, not so easy to keep in a house but still they are nice animals. Maybe not so good companions for my cats, they could step on them and I love my cats and not cat pancakes.

After mass car accidents, floods, fire, bombings, bank attacks and other catastrophes, I finally gave up and realized that there was nothing, but absolutely nothing on TV. I wonder why we pay for it ?

I moved an angry Rosie from my lap and looked through our DVDs which I hadn't watched yet. And what did I find ? DVDs of my son, full of science fiction, war stories and other stuff of no interest to me ! Offended, I switched off the TV, picked up Rosie and went to bed with a book !

But before I checked if there were no bloodstaines on the floor and under the TV.