2 Oct 2008

THURSDAY THIRTEEN

13 proposals for your answering machine

1. Hi. If you are a burglar, checking to see if anyone is home, then we're probably at home cleaning our weapons right now and can't come to the phone. Otherwise, we probably aren't at home and it's safe to leave us a message.

2. Hi. I'm home right now, I'm just screening my calls. So start talking and if you're someone I want to speak with I'll pick up the phone. Otherwise, well, what can I say?

3. Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you.

4. Roses are red, some willows weep, please leave your message, after the beep

5. We might be in, we might be out, but leave a message and you might find out!

6. Talk to the phone, the face ain't home, please leave a message, after the tone. BEEP!

7. Now I lay me down to sleep; Leave a message at the beep. If I should die before I wake, remember to erase the tape.

8. Being reincarnated as an answering machine is the pits. Keep your karma clean by leaving your name, number, message, and the time that you called.

9. Bob here. I'm home right now, I'm just screening my calls. So start talking and if you're someone I want to speak with I'll pick up the phone. Otherwise, well, what can I say?

10. Hello, epicenter of the Universe, God speaking. If you leave your name, number, and prayer after the tone, I will call you back as soon as I can. Please note that I answer all prayers, but sometimes the answer is NO. Bless you, my child, and have a nice day.

11. Hello, we are unable to come to the phone right now. Please leave your name and number unless of course you are a salesman or trying to solicit money.

12. Hello. I'm David's answering machine. What are you?

13. Hi! Jan's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.

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26 comments:

Eppie said...

Oh! I'd like to try one of these novel messages on my machine! Esp. the 3rd one!

"Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you."

:D

Losing Myself said...

OMG this is soooo funny. Happy TT

anthonynorth said...

Loved them. Makes me want to go out and buy an answerphone.

Mar said...

I love the fridge one with the magnet, lol! I don't use the answering service offered for free by our telephone company, maybe I should!! just to use one from your list.
I am back with a pile of laundry and lots to do, that's why I am blogging :)

Tiffany Aller said...

In silly moments, I've actually used #13!

storyteller said...

Ohmygosh ... those are FUNNY!!! I'm not sure which I like best because each appeals to a different part of me. Number 13 will have me chuckling a while methinks. Thanks for dropping by my WW at Sacred Ruminations to let me know your T-13 was up. I'm off to my PSE6 class in a little while and that's why I post my T-13 early these days.
Hugs and blessings,

Judy Thomas said...

Those are cute... but DH said since we use our phone for business.. he thought we wouldn't do it .... lol.....have a great Thursday

colleen said...

Mine: Speak in rhyme if you're so inclined. Leave a clue if you do.

And this one: I'm in the past and your in the present. If you leave a message I'll get back to you in the future.

Carmen and Jim said...

We used to try to come up with clever messages when we were in college. Now, I struggle just to figure out how to get my messages, much less be creative with the answer. :)

Hootin' Anni said...

I can't get over number 1....that had me laughing so hard...too, too good Gatttina.

Sue said...

Hehehe these are great, especially that cartoon!! Happy TT and thank you for stopping by earlier :) Some of those kids books may be translated to other languages. Here in Canada many are both English, and French :)

Janet said...

cute messages!

lisaschaos said...

Those are all great and I have used ones similar to #2&3 before. :) Too funny!

Geraldine said...

What a fun list. I might have to give one of these a whirl! LOVE your header btw!!! I am a big-time cat lover.

Got here via Sacred Ruminations.

www.mypoeticpath.wordpress.com

EastCoastLife said...

I don't want to be the one hearing these messages. hehehe....

Christina said...

I love 12!

Happy TT!!

Michelle said...

Roses are red, some willows weep, please leave your message, after the beep

I LOVE THIS ONE!

On a limb with Claudia said...

I may just have to steal these! maybe I'll rotate them with the season! ;)

I used to put on weird pieces from movies. People still left a message

Maribeth said...

Oh this is too funny!!!!

TorAa said...

haha - you can say it.

Why not try this one:

- Thanks for calling
- It's important for us that you did call right now.
- We are a planning a Waterloo.
- Will you be Napoleon?

Melli said...

ROFL! I used to leave silly messages like that all the time! Then I went to work. Figured I better leave something respectable in case I didn't catch the phone when they called! LOL! Now I should go back to something like that... hmmmm... #s 12 & 13 are really striking my fancy! *g*

Lori said...

LMAO...OMG, those are so funny!! Great list. Thanks for the list and for stopping by:)

SandyCarlson said...

No. 13 was a great finale!

Lady Katherine said...

I love the answering machine theme!! I laughed a lot. Thanks for a good laugh.

SandyCarlson said...

What fun, Gattina! Love No. 6!

Joyce said...

I love #13! Thanks for the laughs!
I'm visiting from Storyteller's Small Reflections. :)