13 proposals for your answering machine
1. Hi. If you are a burglar, checking to see if anyone is home, then we're probably at home cleaning our weapons right now and can't come to the phone. Otherwise, we probably aren't at home and it's safe to leave us a message.
2. Hi. I'm home right now, I'm just screening my calls. So start talking and if you're someone I want to speak with I'll pick up the phone. Otherwise, well, what can I say?
3. Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you.
4. Roses are red, some willows weep, please leave your message, after the beep
5. We might be in, we might be out, but leave a message and you might find out!
6. Talk to the phone, the face ain't home, please leave a message, after the tone. BEEP!
7. Now I lay me down to sleep; Leave a message at the beep. If I should die before I wake, remember to erase the tape.
8. Being reincarnated as an answering machine is the pits. Keep your karma clean by leaving your name, number, message, and the time that you called.
9. Bob here. I'm home right now, I'm just screening my calls. So start talking and if you're someone I want to speak with I'll pick up the phone. Otherwise, well, what can I say?
10. Hello, epicenter of the Universe, God speaking. If you leave your name, number, and prayer after the tone, I will call you back as soon as I can. Please note that I answer all prayers, but sometimes the answer is NO. Bless you, my child, and have a nice day.
11. Hello, we are unable to come to the phone right now. Please leave your name and number unless of course you are a salesman or trying to solicit money.
12. Hello. I'm David's answering machine. What are you?
13. Hi! Jan's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.