7 May 2009

THURSDAY THIRTEEN - Men quotes

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13 Quotes about men

1. All men hear is blah, blah, blah, blah, SEX, blah, blah, blah, FOOD, blah, blah, blah, BEER.

2. There are only two kinds of men - the dead and the deadly.

3. Men think monogamy is something you make dining tables out of.

4. My ancestors wandered lost in the wilderness for 40 years because even in biblical times, men would not stop to ask for directions.

5. Don't let a man put anything over on you except an umbrella.

6. Women speak because they wish to speak, whereas a man speaks only when driven to speech by something outside himself -- like, for instance, he can't find any clean socks.

7. A man in the house is worth two in the street.

8. Women now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not have a job, be married with children, unmarried with children. Men have the same choice we've always had: work or prison.

9. To attract men, wear a perfume called 'New Car Interior'.

10. My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance.

11. See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.

12. A succesful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A succesful woman is one who can find such a man.

13. Talk to a man about himself and he will listen for hours.

21 comments:

Nicholas said...

Yes. Ha ha. I hope next week for balance you'll do 13 reasons why women are stupid.

Mar said...

Hilarious list. Are blondes the subject of next week's TT?
;)

anthonynorth said...

A great delusional post :-)
Only kidding.

Hootin' Anni said...

Where DO you find all these wonderful 13s? I especially liked, and laughed hard, on the monogamy. Too funny.

diane said...

Some of those are very true.

Dr.John said...

Us poor men get such a bad press.
To be fair next week you need to post a list of thirteen things about women.
Of course since number one on the list is
1. Women feel no need to be fair when it comes to men.
I guess it won't happen.

marcia@joyismygoal said...

I know you don't You don't believe those-- that is so unfair MY 3 adult sons and hubby don't fit that bill

I am Harriet said...

There are only two kinds of men - the dead and the deadly. Rolling over in tears over that one and the last one. EXCELLENT post.

Brenda ND said...

LOL, I like the one about only allowing an umbrella to be pulled over you. Happy TT!

Pamela said...

I thought I wrote number 11. Guess someone else thought the same thing.

jenn said...

Ha! I love number 11!

Adelle Laudan said...

Amen!
Happy T13!

Alice Audrey said...

Did you see my Monday post? It kind of fits with this.

Sue said...

Wow! Cool list. #11 is a riot! Thanks for sharing. Happy TT!

Melli said...

ROFL!!! I absolutely LOVE and agree with #12!!! Of course I do!

claudie said...

many sentences you say are hard to hear but always right!

Puss-in-Boots said...

Oh, well done, Gattina. Where do you get these from?

Rayne said...

I love numbers 6 and 11. Thank you for the laugh, these were great.

Happily Retired Gal said...

Thanks for the chuckles this evening.
Hugs and blessings,

Mitchypoo said...

In my current mood, this list was great.

Vlado&Toni said...

i wonder what mr. gattino thinks about this post :D