THE ITALIAN MAMMA - HAPPY TUESDAY

Rick had a friend named Giorgio. Giorgio was a heart of a man and the only thing in his life he really hated were problems. Problems are solved by mostly saying yes to everything or ask his wife to handle them. 

But this time it was different, a catastrophe had happened ! It concerned his mamma ! You have to know that for an Italian his Mamma is the most important person in his life. Especially when he is grown up. 

Even in Mafia circles men always listened to Mamma (see the "Godfather"). The Italian Mamma is respected by everybody in the family and although everybody thinks that Italian man are machos in front of Mamma they are like a new born babies. 

Giorgio's Mamma in the respectable age of 94 had to be hospitalized, at least that's what she had decided. The whole family was duly informed like a queen's disease is announced in public by the media. Therefore Giorgio rushed over like a headless chicken, he thought his

 Mamma was already half dead. 

He immediately wanted to call an ambulance but the half dead Mamma had first to dress up in a very elegant dress, comb her heavy silver hair better than a hairdresser, put make up on and all her jewelry and only then she was ready to suffer and receive the men with the ambulance. 

Giorgio had to lay her down on the stretcher, not the men from the ambulance, although he suffered badly from backache. Now Mamma was the star of the whole street in the center of Brussels ! She was not the type of suffering in silence, so while the ambulance guys carried her out on the stretcher, she was complaining, moaning, groaning, and gesticulating with her hands, while looking around to see if the whole street could have a good view on her suffering. 

They all, Giorgio, his father, aunts, uncles, nephews and grandchildren followed the stretcher, talking loud and louder, fighting and discussing about who cares for her the best while Mamma suffered loud too. The Belgian nurses who saw the whole cortege coming, almost fainted and threw them all out.

Mamma screamed for her son. A nurse shut the door of Mamma's room and looked at the elegantly dressed up woman, she took everything off pulled a hospital shirt over her head and put her to bed.

Mamma shouted her protests so loud, that almost the whole hospital could hear her. Especially her hair looked uncombed now !  Finally she calmed down and lay on her bed like waiting for the coffin.

Next day when poor Giorgio arrived to visit her she complained so loud half in Italian and half in French so that even the deaf in the hospital could hear her. The bed was too hard, the TV had no Italian channels, the nurses came not fast enough, the doctors are all stupid and and don't know their job, the room was too warm, she was freezing at night and of course she couldn't close an an eye. 

The poor women who shared the room with Mamma had almost gotten a nervous break down and hadn't closed an eye, because Mamma was moaning the whole night long like an old tomcat in love. 

Of course she didn't eat, the hospital food was disgusting and rotten and she asked Giorgio, her son and not the husband to bring her food everyday otherwise she would starve. Of course it had to be Italian food and nothing else all other kitchens are bad. 

So poor Giorgio every day went to an Italian catering service and bought Italian food. Mamma was an "easy" patient, she rang the bell every five minutes for the nurse, to open the window, to close the window, to bring fresh water, to bring her a mirror, to give her a cover, to take off the cover etc. 

Finally doctors and nurses had enough of Mamma and asked Giorgio, to take her home. Giorgio of course called again the ambulance and when Mamma was all dressed up and had checked her looks several times in a mirror, he went home with Mamma. Papa was always behind. In front of their house, Mamma, laying on her stretcher waved to everybody like a queen to her subjects.

Of course she complained that Giorgio had forgotten to buy her some flowers for her homecoming. Now back home, poor Giorgio was  not out of his troubles ! 

Mamma lets her husband call her son  with  a preference at 3 am, to inform him that she cannot sleep, and is too weak to speak, that she suffers worse than Jesus on his cross and that her end is near.

Therefore every morning before going to work Giorgio had to bring her croissants from a special Italian bakery The whole family observed poor Giorgio and he was strongly criticized when for once he had  dared to say that he is tired and just wants to rest for a day. No, they said, you only have one Mamma, and she is so ill, now you have to take care of her as she did when you were a baby. The baby in question had been 75 and had a family too. But that doesn't matter to Mamma, she said she had already one foot in her grave, despite that, she looked like a fresh rose compared to poor Giorgio with his mouse grey face. 

This is a true story ! It was the mother in law of my best friend Jeanine who also had married an Italian. I was more lucky with my Italian MIL We were best friends ! And she had rather a northern temperament.

Now when  you think it over the best American actors are from Italian origin !

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