16 Aug 2012

ITALIAN MAMMAS

Jenny Matlock
more participants at Jenny Matlock's Alphabet Thursday


Mr. Gattino has a friend named Pietro. Pietro is a heart of man and the only thing in his life he really hates are problems. Problems have to be solved by mostly saying yes to everything or ask his wife to handle them.

But this time it was different, a catastrophe had happened ! It concerned his mamma ! You have to know that for an Italian his Mamma is the most important person in his life. Especially when he is grown up. Even in Mafia circles men always listened to Mamma (see the "Godfather").

Mamma is respected by everybody in the family and despite the fact that everybody thinks Italian men are machos in front of Mamma they are like little boys. Pietro's Mamma in the respectable age of 94 had to be hospitalized, at least that's what she had decided. The whole family was informed like a queen's desease is announced to the public.

Therefore Pietro rushed over in a hurry like a headless chicken, he thought his Mamma was already half dead.

He immediately wanted to call an ambulance but Mamma had first to dress up in a very elegant dress, to comb her heavy silver hair as if she would go to an opera, put make up on and her best jewels and only then she was ready to suffer and to receive the men with their ambulance.

Pietro had to lay her down on the stretcher, not the men from the ambulance, although he suffers badly from his back. But Mamma had insisted ! Now Mamma could be the star of the whole street ! She is not the type of suffering in silence, so while the ambulance guys carried her on the stretcher, she was lamentating, moaning, groaning and gesticulating with her hands, while looking around to see if the whole street really could have a good view on her suffering.

They all, Pietro, father, aunt, uncle, nephew and grandchildren followed the stretcher, loud talking, fighting and discussing while Mamma suffered loud. The nurse who saw them coming, almost fainted and threw them all out. Mamma screemed for her son.

The nurse shut the door and looked at the elegant outfit, took everything off and put her to bed. Mamma shouted her protestings so loud, that almost the whole hospital could hear her. Finally she calmed down and lay like a diva, with her silk new nightgown on the bed.

Next day she got hysterical and called for Pietro, so that even a deaf could hear her. She complained that the bed was too hard, the Belgian TV had no italian channels, the nurses came not fast enough, the doctors were all stupid and don't do with her what she deserves, the room was too warm, she was freezing at night and of course she couldn't close an an eye.

The poor women who shared the room with her had almost gotten a nervous brakedown and hadn't closed an eye, because Mamma was moarning the whole night like an old cat in love.

Of course she didn't eat, no, the hospital food was just rotten and she asked Pietro, her son and not the husband to bring her food everyday otherwise she would starve. Of course it had to be italian food and nothing else all other kitchens are bad. So poor Pietro every day went to a catering service and bought italian food in his lunch hour time.

Mamma was an "easy" patient, she rang the bell every five minutes for the nurse, to open the window, to close the window, to bring fresh water, to bring her a mirror, to give her a cover, to take off the cover etc. Finally doctor and nurses had enough of Mamma and asked Pietro, to take her home. Pietro of course called again the ambulance and went with Mamma home. Papa was always behind. In front of their house, Mamma, laying on her stretcher greeted everybody like a queen her subjects. Of course she complained that Pietro had forgotten to buy her some flowers.

Now Mamma back home, poor Pietro is not out of his troubles ! Mamma lets her husband call him mostly around 3 am to inform him that Mamma cannot sleep, and is to weak to speak, that she suffers worse then Jesus on his cross and that her end is near and every morning before going to work Pietro has to bring her croissants from a special italian bakery and not another one !

The whole family watches like Pitbulls and Dobermans together poor Pietro and they blame him when for once he dares to say that he is tired and just wants to rest for a day. No, they say, you only have one Mamma, now she is so sick, you at least have to take care of her like she did when you were a baby.

The baby meanwhile is 65 years old and has a family. But that doesn't matter to Mamma, she is half dead although she looks like a fresh rose compared to poor Pietro with his mouse grey face.

PS. This is a true story which my best friend had told me. Fortunately my mamma in law wasn't at all like that, she was a wonderful woman and we were very close friends.
Image Hosted by ImageShack.us Mamma ready for the ambulance

11 comments:

diane b said...

A fabulous post. Such a funny story you have cleverly retold the story.

Mar said...

I enjoyed it, sorry, Pietro!

Linens and Royals said...

Good on Mamma, I want to be just like her and have my middle aged son running around after me.
Sadly it won't work like that here. Though son is coming for lunch on Sunday to fix a computer problem I have.

Jo said...

OMW what a lovely story! You tell is SO well! Imagine if I tried that with any of my sons... Mmm? Thanks for a good laugh! Hugs Jo

Maribeth said...

Oh, poor Pietro! I enjoyed the great read!

LindyLouMac in Italy said...

Oh my goodness what a story, which living amongst Italians I can believe.

Sue said...

An amusing story about Pietro. Thanks for sharing it with us today.

=)

Loree said...

Poor Pietro. Some women are such divas. Glad your MIL was different :)

anitamombanita said...

oy vey is all I can say.

Sallie (FullTime-Life) said...

Too funny. OK then -- maybe I should send this story to my sons and son=in-law; they don't know how lucky they are ;>)

Jenny said...

Laughing here.

I know these people.

Or, at the very least, their genetic twins!

This was a marvelously fun read.

Thanks for the smile!

A+