When I was engaged with my first love, my parents didn't appreciate at all, although my father would never have admitted it. My fiance was Italian and, worse from the very south (Sicily) He was an artist and didn't have a "serious work" and no regularly income in my father's eyes. In his opinion a girl had to marry for financial security. He would have liked his daughter to marry a rich nobel so he could tell everybody he was the father in law of Lord Soandso and at least all the money he had spent to buy me the nicest clothes would have been a good investment.
I didn't agree with that at all, I never wanted to be dependent on a man. I had the worst example in front of my eyes, my mother !
So he made me a deal. He would buy me a new car, a nice little Volkswagen if I would brake up my engagement. I found this disgusting not even a deal but rather a blackmailing and intended to refuse. I already had a car, it was not a new one but still in a very good shape. But then my friends told me that I would be stupid I should take the car and continue the relationship with my first love. I thought it over and finally found out that they were right. Nobody had the right to make unfair deals or blackmailing me.
I accepted and got my new car, a creme colored Volkswagen brand new ! The first thing I did, was driving to my fiance to show him. I was very happy with my car and we even drove with it to Italy. It wasn't difficult to fake that I broke up my engagement. Not even a year later I broke it up anyway.
Since I can think my father had always been like that a dealer ! Not one for drugs but to obtain what he wanted. His motto was "You do that and I give you that" ! I hated it and promised myself never to become like him.
Most girls are dealing very well with their fathers, but my father really wasn't a lovable man.
wow, what a powerful post, Gattina. Thanks for sharing that glimpse into your past :) Happy MM.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry your relationship with your father wasn't a good one, but you seemed to have recovered from any childhood trauma. Now I hope the kitties can deal well with relations too.
ReplyDeleteGattina, your father only wanted the very best for his little girl...I guess it is the way the old generation was taught and they couldn't do a thing to change it. Plus your were in love with an artist!! that's no real profession...lol.
ReplyDeleteI found a pic of my boyfriend when I was 15, the one my father couldn't stand: the boyfriend had long (beautiful!) hair, way below his shoulders. Wonder if he has kept his hair at all...:)
Just dropping in to say hi, and I'm still here. Got my computer working and still learning new things, so I'm catching up on reading your post. Looks like you had a nice trip. I enjoyed reading about your first love.
ReplyDeleteyour father might not be lovable, but he seemed a wise man! :P
ReplyDeleteSsssshhhhhhhhoooooot! You knOw I did it again! Signed the linky when I don't play the game! I'm going to QUIT signing linkies altogether! LOL!
ReplyDeleteYour father was a "piece of work" as we say! Geeeeez! Imagine trying to buy you out of that DEAL!!!
Hey, for a new car I'd do it too!! And figure if my dad was stupid enough to try and buy me like that, he'd deserve what he asked for....a crafty, clever daughter.
ReplyDeleteThat was quite a deal you made with your father.
ReplyDeleteHope that Pookie is dealing with Rosie!
Sounds like we had like fathers. His way or the highway. Have a great MM. :)
ReplyDeletethat's new pookie has a new sister!
ReplyDeletethanks for sharing your story
My brother offered to send me to Hawaaii if I would only not marry THAT guy. I told him I was in love and wanted to marry. A Sad and short 8 months later he kidnapped our 6 week old baby, causing the biggest nightmare of my lifetime.
ReplyDeleteIf we only had the brains and wisdom of age with the looks and stamina of youth...oh well.
Great post!!! Very insightful. Happy MM!
ReplyDeleteHappy MM!
ReplyDeleteWell done you for not have fallen for the blackmail. Happy MM! Or what's left of it...
ReplyDeleteIt is sad that your father was so manipulative in your life. You imply he was less than life affirming with your mother. He was of that old school where wife and children are chattel for him to batter and manipulative to meet his needs.
ReplyDeleteSuch a man was a good husband and father if he was a good economic provider. The family owed him obedience and respect in exchange. Is this not one of the themes in Ibsen's "A Doll's House"
I had some difficulties in dealing with my father, too, but my Mom always said it was because we were too much alike and both very, very stubborn. I'm pretty sure she was right about that one! Even though my Dad wasn't very loving either, I'm sure that he did love me - he just never knew how to show it. I'm sure that your Dad was the same way and even though he was manipulative about it, he probably really only wanted the best for you. Still, I hope you enjoyed that car!
ReplyDeleteAhhhh, we can't choose our parents can we?
ReplyDeleteHappy Monday!
Thanks for sharing that story, Gattina. A very interesting one it was. I'm sure it was hard to deal with when growing up.
ReplyDeleteThanks for visiting my blog and Reba's. We both enjoy your comments.
i'm sorry to hear about the way your father dealt with you. if that is any consolation, you are not alone with such an experience. at least you made the most out of it and enjoyed the VW. you had truly outsmarted him here :)
ReplyDelete